Well, I haven't posted here in a couple days, so I figured... why not? I know i'm going to want to look back on these one day, even if it's to just remind me why i took this journey. Why my life is so important to me. Why my sobriety is so important!
Today is day 5... yay! i do feel good about today. I won't lie, even with the suboxone today, I haven't felt too much like myself. I have been anxious, tired, grumpy, sore, and so forth. It's crazy that even with the little bit of subs, I can still feel some of the symptoms bursting through. Either way, I know this way is a lot more comfortable than if I had done cold turkey again. I am very foggy in the head, though. I'm not sure if that's from the detox, the subs, or both. Either way, I know in a week, month, year I will feel a little bit better than the one before! It's all worth it.
My boyfriend and I got into a fight earlier today. I'm not really sure why, we're not a couple that fights too much. He claims that I jumped down his throat but I feel like he jumped down mine. Maybe we jumped down eachothers?!?! Either way, I really hate fighting with him and hate the fact that it happened. Sometimes I feel as if I should tell him what's going on, but it just scares me of what he will think of me after he knows. Maybe one day I will come up with the strength to tell him, but I'm really not sure at this point.
Good news, though! My brother comes home in a week from tomorrow. That is really freaking awesome. I've missed him and pray that he stays on the right track from this moment on. He's going to be staying with us until he gets back on his feet. I'm happy about this, but at the same time I'm not. The last time he stayed with us, it seemed as if it was a constant fight. Like I said, we're not really the type of people that like to fight, so the thought that my house could become a battle zone makes me on edge. I have my fingers crossed that things will be different, especially seeing that he's no longer on the drugs.
Well, that felt good to get a few things off the good 'ole chest, even if it is typing in cyber space. Not sure if anyone is reading this, but, if you are, I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors to come!!