Well I'm going to try and update this sporadically. Hopefully others can get some benefit, or point out if I'm doing anything wrong. I find it cathartic to type. (If that breaks any forum rules can someone PM me) I can't really share this with any close friends. They all say run away from her
Messaged her and we arranged to meet for coffee. I'd told her previously I'd pay as she was skint. I don't want lack of funds preventing her coming. And I'll pay happily if it means I get couple hours to talk about everything. But as above, not bailing her out financially. She seemed happy to come, didn't have to convince her. 2 hours later and I literally got to the place we go to (near her house to try reduce risk of her not coming) and got the message. I knew what it would say. And so it did.
"I can't come, now I have to see family member on fathers side"
I called her and the story changed a little. (shortened)
"Have to see family" had "Don't want any bullsh*t today" tacked on
"You think I bring you bullsh*t?" I replied
"No, but I just don't want to see anyone today"
"Hey its ok, we'll do another time"
"i'll msg you"
"ok. speak soon."
I can see from Facebook that her best friend (clean) and her is a bit strained. From talking to her, she sounded grumpy. And putting together the clues. She's obviously still arguing with her Dad, hence the intervention of an older family member. Also, she was active on FB in the small hours. I believe she was out last night and on the come down. So the last thing she needed was her Dad giving her the riot act about money woes. I don't blame him, he probably just thinks she's getting drunk a lot. Not that she really is bordering on a real full blown addiction.
I really should have made more effort to find out what's stressing her. Even if just in general. Not just said "ok I understand" But on the plus side, regular contact with her, every few days, even if its just a txt or short call has got to help. I don't want her to forget the better friends. I don't want the only people she communicates with to be negative types.
I waited half hour or so then txt her the days I could do and couldn't and got a positive response that we'd try to meet up soon. (For whatever that's worth) I try to be a hopelessly happy, positive person when I talk or msg her. She often laughs at my crap jokes so there's still a happy place between us. And I hope that's going to be worth something when things get tougher.