3 addictions at once. The pain of Poly-substance addiction

By Scloud90 · Feb 19, 2015 · ·
  1. Scloud90
    Ok right now im feeling a little out of whack, like shit isnt working right. been battling alcohol and meth abuse of course and together with a recent addition of xanax since I have a ton of the 2mg white bars.

    I havent done much meth recently probably 2 hits from the bowl....but idk how much I did before I passed out this morning at anywhere arounf 6 or 7 am something like that....Passed out in my chair right before I was about to hit the pipe I think so I never got around to it, was in midpost, before I fell asleep I did sleep the night before but that was only 8-10 hours of sleep after 3 or more days of being awake.

    I started to see dead skin covering the entire bottom half of my body, which was a hallucination. I knew I didnt want to pick at it, but I thought theres no way this can be real so I tried to peel just a little off my leg to see what would happen and it was like trying to rip real skin off myself. I was completely hallucinating myself looking like a meth junkie when I didnt even look as bad as I thought I did. Every image looked ike a gif or whatever you call those pictures that move....

    objects seemed to slightly move a little on their own from place to place only about half an inch though, and some items like socks got bigger and smaller as if they were a sponge soaking up water then letting it out constantly.

    Today I took care of myself all the proper hygeine and nutrition and whatnot, I ate a sandwich and a burrito, but when I tried to eat dinner..... I didnt eat much cause my stomach felt a bit off and I felt like I was shaking kind of like what happens in alcohol withdrawal but it kinda felt like a mixture between the alcohol and benzos along with the small amount of meth in my system making my bloodpressure feel high and me out of whack.

    Right now my stomach is kind of full but im trying to chug as much straight whiskey as I can. ive probably been taking a bar a day for 13 days, but im no newcomer to using benzos or alcohol or both together.Ive been splitting a bar in half and taking half at one part of the day, and then the other half later, right now I was planning on slowing my dose but I just took both halves because after a while my episode wasnt going away and I couldnt drink fast enough.

    As im typing this im starting to feel slowly better, but I almost feel like the booze is helping more than the benzos....im still panicking....I need this to go away for now....I can handle it when theres no meth in my system but right now even the smallest amount of meth is killing me literally

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  1. Delia
    I'm proud of you, l can see the heart in your post and l know it must have ripped you apart to write that.

    You will slowly get through it, it won't be easy but you will and at the end of the day you know that you can handle 3 addictions at once - no one can. Each day will be a battle and it will be okay because it's your battle and you don't need to rush it, or beat yourself up.

    I will keep it short and simple: you have identified the problem, you are working on it and only you can make it better but the steps you are taking are all in the right direction.
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