Been feeling pretty good as far as energy goes. For me it's always been the roughest of the getting clean part of it. Withdrawals are fine.. but the lethargy and lack of motivation and feeling like I have to binge eat but only wanting sugars and sweets can be a real bitch! But I've done this before and I have been handling getting clean like a pro.
But am I happy? NO! It just goes to show you that there is more to it than just getting clean. My stubborn mind does not know how to handle situations like the one that I am in right now. Basically I hate being unemployed and I have no source of income and I'm freaking out about being homeless. I have been doing my part filling out applications and doing everything that I can to get a job and I even thought about whether or not I should become a male stripper. I have the body for it.. but I have morals.. and I don't know.. I think I respect myself to keep my body to myself and I have always been a private guy.. behind locked doors. I mean don't get me wrong I don't judge anyone that would want to strip. I've taken my shirt have plenty of times at bars when I used to hit the karaoke bars up and given ladies lap dances ( this was in the early twenties and yes I was single! )
But yes that brings me to my second part.. I am single now and I do not want to accept it. I mean my girl.. or my ex I should say is happy that I am clean for 31 days but she still wants to give it more time and I even told her it's not fair for me to miss her that much and she told me that I should just move on so I've been pretty pissed off about that comment all day and I don't want to move on but I don't know.
I think that I just miss talking to the opposite sex.. because I've always been a ladies man and I've had a great load of friends that I was close to that were men but I always made sure to keep a girl in my life that I was either dating.. or one that I was really close friends with. I don't know. Just out of curiosity is there a website that is free of charge.. that is not filled with prostitutes but just a place where you can meet people to be friends with. People of the opposite sex? I mean potentially you can date them if you want but I'm not even thinking about that.. I just want to make friends but I'm not scared to make friends outside the internet world. The state of mind that I am in right now.. nobody can fix that! I would rather just take baby steps! So if anyone has any advice for me I would greatly appreciate that! And if anyone here is from San Diego and you are a lady.. HELLO! Nice guy over here just wanted to say hi and yeah.. I need friends I guess haha I used to be the popular guy and over the years.. I really don't know how I did a 360.. so weird! I hope that changes!