Mini Update. Nothing really major. I messed up. And others are now finding out how deep she's going.
As I said in the previous post I was planning to give her some space. Not contact her for a bit. Well she changed her FB pic to a real poser one! So I msg'ed her taking the piss. All good, just wanted to talk with her about something OTHER than drugs.
Then she changed her FB to "Engaged to X"
Which prompted some of our mutual acquaintances to "WTF???" I called her and asked what her Dad thought. Still hadn't told him! Then she wanted to know our mutual acquaintances thought. (Mostly my friends more than hers) Why she cares what they think surprises me. They generally don't like her. She says she doesn't care what they think. Confused on that.
Some messaged me. I told how they'd met through Coke use and how that was realistically all they had in common.
"Officially" they are surprised or a bit negative (Which I pre-warned her about.)
"Unofficially" they are WTF!" "What a Tramp" "Stupid cokehead girl". "What a fucking idiot!" "I hope NM you realise your wasting your time even talking to her!"
2 of our mutual friends are far more supportive, Guy (my age) and a Girl (her age). I spoke at length with both. What I honestly thought, what I told my friend. Both sworn to secrecy.
Guy felt bad like me, but he has his own family and things. But he didn't want to get too involved. Fair enough. Said he'd message her. But he didn't. Offered me morale support for what I'm trying to achieve.
The girl said she'd try and meet her 1 day in the future so she could chat with her. She thinks she'll be honest with her (not so sure since we know how anti drugs she is. Be too confrontational imo. But I have to let her try)
Was going to leave it there. But then I got the "YTF are you messaging my friend who've you never met about me!" txt
Called her. Told her. "You can see what I've written and if I've upset you I apologise completely" She was unsure tbh. Shes not mad, just confused more. She's read it the "good way" rather than the "I'm worried about her" way. I think I should have told her I was concerned about her, but Id rather do that face2face. So I played it down. It was a mistake (before I even got caught tbh!) told her I'd call her later in the week. She posted on FB about "not talking to random guys" (might be aimed at me, might not. Hope I'm more than a random!) Left her for 4 days. Called her. No answer. Text her "what you up to later?" She was "with SOMEONE today" (not the fiancée) But of course that could be a "f off"
I'll leave her for another few days and see where we're at. What I really want now is a really funny or cute puppies video or meme to send her in a few days. Need to break that tension and make her happy. Associate good things with me. Did contemplate buying her a (Less than £8) bottle of wine to "officially apologise" I'll give it some thought. 50/50 on it.
I knew there'd be arguments along the way. Just didn't expect them to be because I messed up! (Idiot!) I hope we'll be cool again after a bit. I'm still not worried about the engagement as much as the drugs. So hopefully in her mind she doesn't think anythings changed in my mind. Still need her to think of me as a clean mate. Not anti the wedding.
As I also predicted, now I've started a new work contract, she's on my mind less. Which is a good thing. I've restarted one of my hobbies, done some overdue things. I feel calmer and less frantic about what she's up to. If anyone is in that position themselves, just step back and think about other things. If only for a few days. Give YOU a break.
On a side note, did some research on Whirlwind Marriage/Engagements. "Fast Forwarding" is the phrase that the fiancée is doing.
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