By NicoMc · Dec 6, 2015 · ·
  1. NicoMc
    Wasn't planning to update this. But the last week/ 10 days has made me want to.

    I did call my friend as I said in "8" She didn't answer the first time. But I tried again a few hours later and she did.

    Me: "Hi"
    Her: "Hi"
    Do you know who I am?
    Yes. I can't talk now. I'm with my Dad
    Will you ever talk to me again?
    Yes. But can't talk now.
    Ok. See you later

    I took this as a GOOD thing. Maybe she's softening a bit. Text her the next day. Invite for chat. No reply. Left her alone for another week.

    Feeling mischievous generally last week. Been having fun in my own life. So tried calling her. No reply (tbf could be working) Text her "Congratulations on the pregnancy. Give me a call" (we'd joked many times that she would be pregnant)
    10mins later
    "Erm I'm not pregnant!"
    (she also simultaneously finally read a WhatsApp picture message Id sent her a while back. And she replied LOL)

    I'm thinking. RESULT! She's coming back round. Tried calling her. No reply. Text her. "I know, I was just seeing if you'd answer me :p " No reply. FFS! On a related note. The clean friend I messaged was posting on her FB about missing her best friend. There's been no mention of her in anybodies messages for a few weeks now. Interestingly not even "drug dealer that doesn't like me" has been mentioned at all. Or anybody else for that matter. I'm reading that as fiancée isolating her from her social group. Something we know Addicts do. And it's the same for Fast Fowarders /Future Fakers. I daresay there's a psychological link between addiction and those people who favour hyper intense relationships.

    Next day I text her shall I come meet you?. And 6 hours later I get a reply. (I text her when she was at work and she replied when she would have been at home with fiancée. I did wonder if actually he was using her phone. I hope not.

    (modified slightly)
    "Look NM I've told you the situation between us and fiancée is not happy about all this!"

    Which baffled me since, I'd not been given an ultimatum or a fuck off. What has she told fiancée that she told me? I figured we were just in the cooling off part of an argument. Seems fairly obvious that FIANCEE is the drving force behind our drifting apart. On a related subject the girl that introduced my friend to coke ages ago. Is also in an physically abusive/ultra controlling relationship. Its odd my friend would tolerate that behaviour from a partner since we'd both spoken that it was ridiculous that "introducer" didn't just leave him. But I guess the addiction is stronger in both cases than the will to leave. That's a tragedy on it's own regardless of addiction! Especially as both girls are generally nice people.

    Thought about it for a bit, (I was actually getting ready to go out for the night) and on the public transport wrote the following. I decided enough was enough. Stop walking on eggshells and just tell her what I really think about her drug situation. (modified slightly again. Brackets/bold are my explanation)

    Sent it and she read it instantly. Which is rare for her recently! No reply. I don't imagine there will be until either they break up, or perhaps after Christmas at the earliest. I just hope that she/they don't do anything too silly/harmful to health between now and that point.

    I still hope she'll contact me sooner of course and I hope that she'll decide to quit this hobby at some point. But actually that message from her has served as a kind of natural break point for now. I needed it more than I knew.

    Thanks for reading. ALL comments welcome.

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  1. NicoMc
    Hundreds of views of my blog. And no comments? LOL

    Not even a "You've really screwed this up NM!" Haha!

    As a minor thing, she posted few pics of Christmas on Facebook. I've had to fight the temptation to "Like" any of them. Or make any comments. I need to stay strong for at least 4-6 weeks.

    I still care very much about her welfare, but at the moment I cannot influence it. And the time away has helped ME enormously.
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