A few months on...

By Coconut · Jun 30, 2009 ·
  1. Coconut
    Things seem to be going ok for my tree. Methylphenidate isn't all it was cracked up to be... during the most intense workload of the academic year in April, he took his thrice-daily dose as normal and managed to lose about six kilos. Thankfully his eating habits have returned to normal and he has re-gained that weight since.

    The drug seems to be losing its attentive effect, perhaps due to tolerance, but the euphoria and comedown are still present.

    Overall, a very minor improvement in concentration problems has been noticed, even when not taking the medication: he can pay attention to lectures and read long technical articles for a good while before needing a break or dozing off.

    Lethargy seems to have improved slightly also. He is not yawning every five minutes during the day, but still feels tired and can sleep almost at will except during times of increased adrenaline secretion.

    "Visual snow" is unimproved, although this was expected. Due to Tree's poor memory at times, he cannot remember if this was present before beginning experimentation with psychedelics, but he assumes so. Perhaps it is Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder, perhaps not. It's not really that much of an issue, but it does contribute to his permanent perception of derealisation.

    Sometimes during the day, he stops for a moment and feels as though he temporarily breaks through the fog of unreality and feels truly alive for a fraction of a second. Could just be wishful thinking.

    He told me about a great mushroom experience he had a couple of months ago though, watching a sunset in the quiet rolling hills of Westmeath.

    He said to me that if he is doomed to endure feeling dead with periodic experiences of the universe's true beauty in psychedelics, well, so be it. After all, that's why he became interested in them in the first place, right?

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