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  1. sassyspy
    Okay, so it is all falling into place. I will start from now, new start, new blog font color, new meds, new me?

    I have still not had any meth. That's since Tuesday. I have done okay, a few manic and emotional moments.. a lot of crying..even more off and on sleeping... and not a single task finished at work today.
    I started hanging curtains, then putting sheeting on windows, then drilling holes for a threshold strip...I quit each task as I got bored and went to the next. The work is waiting for me when I go back in a few hours.

    I was prescribed methylin, which I know next to nothing about. I have been reading up here at Drugs-Forum, but won't really know anything for sure until I try it myself.

    There is a chance I have bipolar disorder apparently. I screened positively on the assessment he said, but he was willing to try this first.

    So I am happy, but cautiously so. I am wondering how right I have been in my self-assessment. It wouldn't be the first time I was wrong (shock!)

    I am eager to start, partially I suppose, because I am drug free and not feeling normal. Partially because if I have to wait much longer, I am afraid I will relapse to the illegal route again.

    Because of my work schedule, I can't go to the pharmacy till Monday. It seems very far away, at this point.

    The visit with the psychiatrist was a real eye opener, for both of us. I haven't seen myself quite that bad in awhile. I couldn't stay with our conversation, and when I tried to go back to the original thread, I would have already forgotten what it was. His comment at one point was "you really have got it bad, don't you". As a statement, not a question.

    My primary doctor commented last week that it 'must be hard to be you some days'. If she only knew!
    PTSD, ADHD, depression, possibly bipolar.. let's see, have I forgotten any?

    Regardless, I am anxious to begin my new life.
    I hope I am not expecting too much. :s


  1. bananaskin
    Sounds familiar sass, the physical inability to stay still and on task.
    It got so bad for me that I would stand at the sink with some form of RLS, twitching and desperate to be somewhere, anywhere else.
    I would go somewhere else and become almost instanly bored so guess what?Yes, sod all got finished which fed my frustration nicely. With me, pharms helped, that's all I know.

    I'll add more to this after down-time, and no, I won't forget :D
    Much love,

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