It was a beautiful day. I spent most of it riding in the woods and playing with my timberwolf. He loves to cuddle and then he wants to play fetch. Yes, I have a timberwolf. A birthday gift to me almost two years ago when hubby went to another state to purchase a bull and brung me home the most adorable 5 week old wolf puppy. He is the light of my life and he is always by my side or close by to me. I really believe our pets can sense when we are going through something.
Anyways, it was a beautiful day until my Aunt showed up. I love her dearly and have been taught to respect my elders so I didn't say anything when she said she hated to hear what my doctor done to me and handed me a bottle of loratabs. Right there at the supper table in front of Mrs. A our housekeeper and two of the hired hands. I was mortified but kept on smiling like I was taught to do and said thank you. After supper and everyone was sitting on the front porch with their sweet tea and apple cobbler I opened the bottle and took one. The pain from the fibromyalgia and neck pain was gone in twenty minutes. Such a relief but I feel so guilty right now I did that. I could almost hear my Mother saying don't disgrace this family young lady.A week without and I fell off the wagon in my own kitchen. I don't believe my Aunt or my husband understand what I'm going through. Hubby says don't worry dear nobody is gonna see you suffer we'll take care of it.
Some days I want to ride to the top of the mountain and literally scream my head off, but that would be ungrateful and a selfish thing to do. I think I'll bake up some fudge tomorrow and those little almond cookies and take them down to the pastors house for him and his family to enjoy. I cleaned out some of my closet and fixed up a box of summer clothes to give to a lady who needs them. So much to do in our area, so many people need things and we have been so blessed. My Daddy was a cattle rancher and a preacher and he always said a good reputation is really our name. Thank goodness for this blog. I wouldn't know who to talk to, at least on here I can write some of it down without the feeling of being so ashamed of myself I want to go crawl in a hole someplace.
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