Am I real, or am I an actor, am I fake, or am I a freak?

By knightsmith · Aug 29, 2012 · ·
  1. knightsmith
    This past couple of weeks have been hard. I've been thinking since 1 of my friends said something to me.

    Yes, I am trying to make new friends, i've en tried to go out and make friends, but that hasn't been successful. I'm not into the one night stands , I talk alot, but i'm equally a listener.

    Women say, hmm you're fake you can't be real. Whos acting/fake? who'd make up a story as ridiculous as mine. If I was a story teller i'd have $1 billion dollars, 1 woman, kids, the full dream. Granted, alot of women have been huty and have walls, i've always been respectful though.

    So guys, opionions on my personality. Its always been wysiwyg (what you see is whhat you get) but acting would take way too much time, and its actors I hate, because then a woman falls for you and its based on lies.

    Yes I was brought up with morales. I didn't become a recreational user of codeine, they were for headaches, then I run my own business, then I become ill to where I cant get out of bed sometimes to where id buy stimulants now and then. Whats the story / act in that?

    I am honest and open, to anyone who asks me a question. Just do not ask me something inappropriate,

    Some people think i'm weird/freak because i'll talok too much, and sometimes if I feel I didnt say something I should have, i'll send another email. This can be looked on as unusual behaviour

    Thats the only thing I know, and that I confuse people, that are my problems, along with getting a clean life.

    I'm not after every single woman who answers my post, i've always got on better with females, its just i'd like to make real friends that arent flying off the radar, consitent friends. Ive listened to so many people, and they don't even contact me now.

    I feel used, so how can this be an act?

    end of thoughts.

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  1. Buzybee
    Dear K you come across to me as real and honest. Believe me this old bee doesn't like to do bulls..t! I've read lots of your posts and you've replyed to one or two of mine even when I guess one could be thinking bee is a bit flakey, it's not true honestly. Stop looking for Ms Right and maybe life will throw something unexpected in your direction, meanwhile a bit of window shopping never hurt anyone you never know! Hope you have a brighter day today don't just sit there GET YOURSELF OUT THERE baby! Buzz Buzz from Buzybee!
  2. DocBrock
    I can't act and really struggle to lie to anyone. I like to talk. A lot. I love conversation. Not gossip or 'celeb' shyte, but conversation.
    I may not be perfect but I am me to the core. It takes far too much effort to be anyone else, I really can't be bothered.
    Those who are wysiwyg as well do exist, and they feel the same way too. You are so far from being alone or a wierdo, but only you doesn't know it yet.
  3. knightsmith
    Thanks for the responses guys, I just don't know which direction in life to go to now, i've had another big godly hammer thrown at my, my income supports cut off in 2 weeks. All due to some paperwork not getting done, I never received it, then I have to get a doctors medical certificate. So i'm either going to get that, or i'll be in more danger of circumstances getting worse, IE debts etc.

    A laptop turned up at my house last night, there was no readable from address, it just had my address and someones name on the top. I took it to the cop shop as its lost property since I couldnt determine the from address. They said take it to the post, as the tracking number will be there, which was a good point I didn't consider. When I went home, a guy was coming out of my gate, I said can I help you? and he said yeah mate i've been looking for a parcel....then I say heres your parcel, I told him what id done, he was glad I wasnt some fraudster stealer, he looked relieved. I asked him where he drank at, since he lived across the road from me, but I never had seen him before. He drinks at the place, that I had heard comments said about me. So I have a neighbour at least that I can kickstart new friendships off with hopefully. My dad warned me that this guy had a bad rep, I told him i'll find out for myself first. Something to do with drugs mentioned, yeah like I care, I'm an addict myself, who cares what he gets up to in "his own time".
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