Am I so self-defeating?

By sassyspy · Sep 5, 2011 · ·
  1. sassyspy
    To answer my own question, yeah I probably am. On (pretty much) day 3 of my self imposed exile, I'm semi awake and pretty bitchy. I feel foggy as hell, my eyes just want to close, and I'm mad at myself but can't really decide why.

    I have to work again tomorrow, and if I've not slept enough, I'll not make it.
    I just wanted to see if I could STOP again, and how long would I abstain?

    I know I need a support system of some sort to have any chance of abstinence, but mine is limited to my husband, and DF. There's no other personally known individuals I trust.
    I am searching for therapy that charges on a sliding fee scale, to see if I can find one who can help me.

    Because I was clean for nearly 5 years, I guess I think I can do it again.
    Trying to ignore thinking of the fact I was 5000 miles away when I was clean.

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  1. The_Joker
    i know its really really hard.
    im thinking of you
    im starting to go to NA
    i dont know if its the answer but its something i didnt try before and i decided it was worth a try.
    i cant change my life so maybe i can change my way of thinking.

    its so hard. i know it is.
  2. msjaguarxj6
    Awww I'm there for you too sassy.. I'm sure you can do it though!!! Just believe in yourself and keep trying. Good luck and best wishes!
  3. sassyspy
    Thanks, lovey. Need all I can get.
  4. sassyspy

    Ya. Seems really the deciding is the hardest right now. Thanks, girli. I appreciate it. :vibes:
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