And so, as I load yet another bowl into the pipe I steel myself for the bittersweet experience of another meth binge. I love everything about this drug except for the hallucinations. They are almost constant at this point, at least the auditory ones are, but then again I'm pretty much a daily user now. As I "Type" (SwiftKey) this I'm hallucinating people out in my yard, pretending to steal my shit. My bag isn't being any smaller nor is it changing into something else but my brain just won't stop. This is the same every time. They pretend to steal from me, they pretend to be the characters on T.V., they pretend they hacked my WiFi and phone, even my air conditioner will trigger one. I hallucinate clicks and whistles and music. I have went so far as to prove they are not real, but it still persists. They "Say" the same bullshit every time. It is not even close to getting me to quit but it's becoming a nuisance. It used to be around day 2 or 3 that I started having them but now it's pretty much instantly full blown and even when I'm not smoking they pop up from time to time. I understand that they are just in my head but I still have them. I cannot even describe how intense they are. I have wasted entire binges arguing with "them" even though I know they aren't real. I have convinced more than a couple people that I'm fucking nuts. I tried explaining it was just the meth but when someone who doesn't use it listens to you arguing with yourself for 3 days it is hard to avoid a hospital visit. I wear my psych-ward bracelet like a badge of honor. I have a sick sense of humor. Plus it's killer for a conversation piece. "Neat story, another time." (Be an enigma.) Anyway, I've found is better to just not argue with yourself. Eventually you will come down and, most of the time, they fade away. Anyway, just venting. They are being annoying tonight and I just found this blog (w00t), even though nobody is ever going to read this I'll leave you with some advice: Beware of too much use, not resting often enough, and not taking care of yourself. I'm fairly certain I've done enough damage to cause these hallucinations to be permanent, you don't want this.
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