I can't really go into details, but I broke down and backslid two nights ago. I had been clean for four years, I've never gone longer then six months since the age of 14/15. Drugs have never been a big deal for me, but yeah, we all have our vices. This is going to be awkward, summer and all. I was doing really fucking good. Still, it was always in my mind, pretty much every day for the past four years, always there, just waiting.
Stress got so bad I damn near ruined everything I've had going for me.
I was getting verbally abused by a boss at a job I really loved. Things got so bad I had considered taking the salt out of the kitchen and cursing the guy's land. I spent my last two days shaking and crying.
I was doing my best to save that farm, I feel terrible for the guy's mother, she didn't have a clue what a mess things were, she was sweet. I feel terrible for my co-workers, they are going to have a shtty as fuck season if things don't completely fall apart.
Four years clean. That was good. Maybe I can do better this time.