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Because I was Surrounded by 'Gators!!!!

By Basoodler, Sep 28, 2013 | Updated: Sep 29, 2013 | | |
  1. Basoodler
    View attachment 35125
    A Hobe Sound man decided to do a shitload of cocaine around a bunch of alligators and then locked his keys in his car.

    All excellent ideas rolled into one!

    When the man realized he had locked his keys in his car, he had an even grander idea.

    In order to avoid the supposed large gators,he decided to break into his car .... through the windshield.

    According to a Martin County Sheriff's Office report,County Fire Rescue officials and a police officer spotted the 28-year-old man's 1995 Dodge Neon on the evening of September 12.

    The man was parked on Pratt Whitney Road near the entrance to a reserve.

    The officials noticed sandy footprints dotting the hood and roof of the Dodge. They also noticed a big hole in the windshield.

    When they looked inside the Dodge, they spotted the man sitting in the driver's seat. He had cuts on his body, and a bottle of painkillers spilled out on the floor.

    The deputy asked the man what happened.

    According to the report,the man says that he jumped through the windshield to get his keys, because he was afraid of the "large gators."

    He also said he figured the insurance company would replace the windshield for free.

    That's assuming he's insured under the "DO A SHITLOAD OF COKE, JUMP THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD TO UNLOCK YOUR CAR" plan.

    The man also admitted to doing a lot of coke, making this the most Florida Thing Ever.



  1. Szandbwoy
    I can only imagine how extremely paranoid he must have been after shooting a shit load of coke then being stranded in that location with them gators! I'm pretty sure he'll never do this again
  2. squeezix
    I love Florida. This is why I'll never leave.
  3. MikePatton
    LMAO! What a fucking idiot, why the fuck would the insurance company pay for a windshield that you broke for no good reason? And really, why not break a window and unlock the fucking car?! Why the windshield for fuck's sake?! Have you ever heard of someone breaking into a car THIS WAY?
  4. Basoodler
    It is not so much a question of choice of window, the question is "why not use an object to break the winow?"

    It looks like he climbed on to the roof and jumped through the windshield like a diving board.

    Then got out his pain killers to dull the pain of getting cut up from his dive.. But was so fucked up he dropped the bottle and didnt pick it up
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