Hi all fellow DFers, it has been a long time since I gave news of boozer...
Boozer did one of the stupidest thing of his life about 2 weeks ago. He didn,t sleep for more than 4 hours a night for at least a week prior to doing this insane thing. As you might know, he had been consuming a lot of psychoactives recently for about a month, basically didn,t sleep nor eat (his main source of food was nootropics, shrooms, energy drinks, caffeine pills, water and alcohol. Not wise, not at all)... anyway that day was the day he mixed 25 robo gel caps (he did the same 2 days prior to this day), 3g of shrooms (he dosed 3 times that week with shrooms), a monster energy drink, his stack of nootropics, 2 5% lemonade drinks, 10 oz of vodka, 3 wake-ups, over a gram of high-quality hash and over 2 grams of great weed, all that in a 6 hours time span...
Boozer was in love, he felt really great for a while... until he decided to do the mix. It was the day his love said to him that she didn't want to see him anymore, since he gave her nightmares (his deluisionnal self tried to call her in the middle of the night, her bf must've been really pissed off at boozer...) and he basically sent her a couple messages per day. She was everything boozer could've have dreamed of, smart, beautiful, really open minded, down to earth, wants to be a future scientist, optimist, sexy, honest and also really caring... She had a rough childhood, just like boozer (everything boozer felt physically she must have had recieved mentally and a part of it physically...), which gave her one of the most beautiful aspect in the eyes of boozer: she understands true pain.
It's a sad thing that boozer never quite felt she trusted him when he told her he would have done everything for her, would forgive everything she had done, would have been eternally loyal to her and would always try to make her feel good (even though sometimes boozer needs to get things off his chest). He wanted to be too close to her... He would have done quite about anything she would have asked (without it bothering him and without him asking anything else than her time, love and trust) and she would have been free with him (Boozer might seem possesive but he's not, unless the one that would love him would be possesive). Now he feels better, he knows he stopped bothering her and making her sad, she needed a long break from him, he scared her...
Anyway, back to hell. After the girl told boozer she didn't want to see him, his heart shattered. He became even more delusional, started talikng about god, satan and religious things (boozer is far from being a religious man, his philosophy is that everyone should be their own god), started thinking someone would want to kill, arrest or harm him. He then started thinking that all DF was from LE and that they all wanted to bust his ass, all the people he knew in real life were all conspiring against him to kill him. He started looking at people with evil eyes and sending a lot of stupid and possibly harmul posts around here. Thanks to all the mods and alfa for listening to me and destroying stupid random messages boozer posted while a freak.
Boozer went to the friend that knows him best... His family had started saying that boozer should stop everything he liked in his life (all drug use, nootropics too, internet, DF, seeing his friend he loved, talking and being sweet to multiple girls at the same time (he his one of the few non-homosexual around where he lives that thinks like a girl and that can understand them quite easily, without considering them to be objects or hunting trophies and all that while not caring about looks, but only about the personality; sometimes I wonder why boozer can't seem to find a girl that would come to him and be direct [don't try to make him understand anything if he needs to read between lines, he won,t understand what you want (unless he,s on some kind of disassociative, but when he does he loses all memory and gets quite exccentric)]). The guy started playing with his mind, but he,s the one tht started to make him realize that what he thought didn't make sense at all. Boozer's family and surroundings sure doesn,t have all the experience and mental strenght of Boozer, he made them freak out (which made his paranoia even worse, his father told him that he had probably hurt his brain and that he might need to go to the mental ward).
Boozer almost lost all friends by being paranoid, a lot of DFers can't seem to be able to trust him anymore (must have caused quite a couple of really bad trips, he's really sorry... ), even the mods seems to pissed off at boozer... He almost went to the madhouse, almost lost his chance at being a great pharma chemist (and he now wants to do a post-doctorate in psychiatry or pharmacology, yay school until boozer's like 32-34, he doesn't care boozer loves learning).
Boozer learnt his lesson, no more internet while needing to sleep. Ah... and the wiki should be coming soon, his recent sadness has kept him from doing anything useful to the community. And also I think that all his posts have been deleted on the forums, will try to do something after donating (hope that the server will get better soon). *hint*Please donate so that this piece of paradise lives on*hint*
I'm also sorry to all the ones that has sent boozer PMs... The forum redirects me everytime I try to do something so it takes me about 15 minutes to advance a page (can't get on the forums because of that). And it would seem that someone also blocked my ability to see if I really sent a PM or if it never left my screen and got lost in the server crash.
to the admins: Boozer broke a lot of rules I think during those hellish 4 days... please forgive his inexperience and foolishness... He also asked to be blocked because he was scared... Now he knows nobody wants to get him, he ain't the style to attract bad attention toward him (he would never harm any living things in anyway, not even himself anymore, thanks to his lovely friend).
To those he scared on AIM because he wasn,t able to trust them (cyndi, Heretic Ape): sorry, the boozer on the forums is the real one, he has difficulty in trusting people on IMs until he can be 100% sure they aren't playing with him. Boozer has trouble trusting people since he had a rough first relationship about 2 years ago, he made a huge shell after that, promising himself that nobody would be able to see boozer's real side (the kind, open, caring and loving side) until he would find the one he could put all his trust in... He found her but she was already taken and boozer now scares her...
Boozer owes a lot to DF, they,re the ones that can make him feel good when everything else in his life gets dark and rough, boozer loves to make people happy, that's what makes him happy... But he could also easily concentrate all his energy on one person too if he would be asked to do so.
I like his patience (which he lacks when tired) and his ability to adapt himself to people. If only I could stop being shy and be more like boozer outside my virtual life... maybe I would be able to forget boozer,s pretty lady...
Oh yeah, one last thing: never ever feel forced to follow one of boozer's advice if you don't agree with what he says, sometimes it can get quite strange and it,s only to make people think about what they wouldn't think normally. Boozer can have just about any opinion on any subjects (but still he thinks that the war on drugs is bullshit).
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