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Burglars Mistake Man's Ashes for Coke, Snort Away

  1. Each Hit
    "Ashes to asses, dust to dolts: Burglars snort ashes of cremated man and 2 dogs, thinking they'd stolen coke or heroin"

    MIAMI — Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff's deputies said Wednesday.

    The ashes were taken from a woman's home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on Dec. 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff's Office said.

    Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week.

    "The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine," the sheriff's report said.

    Once they realized their error, the suspects discussed returning the remaining ashes but threw them in a lake instead because they thought their fingerprints were on the containers, sheriff's spokesman Judge Cochran said.

    Police divers were trying to recover the ashes. The suspects were jailed on numerous charges of burglary and other crimes.

    January 19, 2011


  1. md2020
    Is this a joke?

    Anyone who has seen human remains .aka. cremated knows it no where looks like anything except the bottom of your fireplace with bits of crushed bone.....
  2. Moving Pictures
    I doubt these idiots had ever had coke or heroin in their life if they thought cremated ashes were them. I mean, besides the fact that ashes look NOTHING like coke or dope, a simple taste test would confirm the fact.

    Also, who in the world would keep their coke or heroin in an urn??

    Fucking morons...:rolleyes:

    PS- I'm awaiting a Keith Richards reference.;)
  3. Balzafire
    They don't look too bright, anyway.


    This does give me an idea, though....

    I've been looking for a creative solution to the disposal of my own cremated remains when that time comes, so maybe I could suggest that my son divide me up into dime bags and allow me to make a few bucks just one last time.
    He could sell them to a long list of women who have attempted to own me in the past and sell the rest to the district attorney so he can finally lock my ass up somewhere. Let that sumbitch "put me away" like he said he would do.
    Problem solved! :crazy
  4. Insomniacsdream
    That middle fella' looks like he caught a bit of a buzz I gotta say. Maybe it wasn't just ash.
  5. Herbal Healer 019
    I can't imagine this I going to be an easy task unless the burglars vacuum seeled the containter the ashes were in before throwing them overboard lol

    funny story
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