Meth addiction

  1. The Kindest Cut

    i hate this curse of tenderness so hit me hard and break the spell that keeps me weak and so unreal no matter how it feels - Ultra Vivid Scene, The Kindest Cut The kindest cut is quick and sharp. If you want to leave, leave. Take your cat and forgo the deposit. One of the most hurtful and unnecessary things a person can do to another is to allow them to think, act, live and feel they have a significant other who has their back when in reality they do not. - titaniumhunter Death is Only the...
  2. Dutch Courage

    ten bucks says you don't have it in you to conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to you are careening shamelessly into oblivion you will live alone with your chemicals and gin - Dutch Courage, The Spill Canvas view of Sentinel Peak from Camp Whitsett, Sequoia National Forest, Tulare County, California (credit unknown) i started writing this a couple weeks a couple months ago. the first line was "i went camping a couple weeks ago." at least, it was before i erased it. now it...
  3. Histories

    this article has two three parts. links at the bottom. (three four if you count this landing page.) you gotta help me, i'm losing my mind keep getting the feeling you wanna leave this all behind thought we were going strong i thought we were holding on aren't we? no, they don't teach you this in school now my heart's breaking and i don't know what to do thought we were going strong thought we were holding on aren't we? you and me got a whole lot of history we could be the greatest team...
  4. Wait it Out

    everybody says that time heals everything; but what of the wretched hollow, the endless in-between? are we just going to wait it out? - Wait it Out, Imogen Heap Lost in Time by ashsivils on DeviantArt 11.37p it's been a little over an hour and a half since i popped 150mg of dextromethorphan. still not feeling it. thanks, Tolerance; you're a peach. second or third day that the DXM hasn't worked as anticipated, as it usually does. mental note: time to start upping the dosage. next time...
  5. When Will It End? But I Will Miss It.. Why Do We Have To Be Friends?

    Crystal shoots two pistols into my chest.. but I still get no heart attack and I live and breathe crystal meth.. she will be my death. I want it to end because it's getting to expensive to take care of my health. And I have nothing to show for it.. because shit shitty dope from Mexico has me feeling pretty low. And even with that biker crank.. those days were the best.. but it's still crystal meth. You can shower three times a day if you wanted to.. that's what I do.. and I stay hydrated but...
  6. No sense nonsense here's you fucking 2 cents

    It's been three months. How did I get here? But I knew I was coming here. It just happened so gradually and so quickly at the same time. How can this be? Time can't be so wrong. She turned me away. She fucking turned me away when I needed somewhere to go. I needed her. I needed to get out of the cold and she said she'd always have a place for me always. She makes no sense and thinks I'm plotting behind her back. Her anger is explosive and frightening. I have no self. I have lived to take...
  7. [] Day 26.. Chick Flicks and Candlesticks! HAHA []

    **So I don't know if it let me post an update on my recovery in the Amphetamines R&A Journals section.. my internet connection is being a pain right now but here is an update to all my besties in this forum! I love you all and you guys are all awesome and it's good to have a place to call home.. I just miss coming on here as often as I used to.. so I do apologize if I don't update everyday but I'll be here on day 30 to post my 30 day sobriety.. it's coming up in 4 friggin' days I honestly...
  8. Nervous Nelly

    The tentative plan is to take a bath tomorrow after work. But not really. I'll be able to sit in there and get high. Hopefully. I pretty much suck at smoking. I'm practicing but it's like, I have marginal success because I'm trying so hard to be careful and not burn the product. And then I got this new pipe that has thicker glass and a swirly design in the glass as well and it's not anything like the last one I was practicing on so I'm even less successful. Sigh. I might try using a...
  9. Sobriety has made me realize I don't have to be afraid of love!

    For those of you who know me.. my name is Brad. I will keep this short and sweet as I am way too excited right now. Just got off work.. had an amazing shift. I was on cloud nine and I didn't even need to take any modafinil. I am 19 days clean and sober from heavy methamphetamine use. I have used on and off for 10 years but this last time I relapsed was the worst. I mean before I signed up to these forums I had binged everyday for 3 months. Methamphetamine is the only drug that.. I am either...
  10. Mind over Matter, Will Dominates Urge!

    BLOG POST #2 8th September, 2016 Pri Drug: Methamphetamine (Smoke) First use: March '14 - July ’14 Second use: June ’15 - Dec ‘15 Third use: June ’16 - Sept ‘16 Current: Coming down Other Drugs: Caffeine (Coffee, Energy Drinks, on & off for 8 years) Current: Sober for 12 hours Alcohol (Bourbon, Beer, on & off for 7 years) Current: Sober for 7 weeks (although 1 or 2 drinks once a week) Nicotine (regular smokes, on & off for 8 years)...
  11. #1: Backstory & 3rd Sobriety

    Blog Post #1 1st September, 2016 Pri Drug: Methamphetamine (Smoke) First use: March '14 - July ’14 Second use: June ’15 - Dec ‘15 Third use: June ’16 - Sept ‘16 Current: 2 days sober Other Drugs: Caffeine (Coffee, Energy Drinks, on & off for 8 years) Current: Sober for 2 weeks Alcohol (Bourbon, Beer, on & off for 7 years) Current: Sober for 6 weeks (although 1 or 2 drinks once a week) Nicotine (regular smokes, on & off for 8 years) Current: Sober for 6 months...
  12. The edge of the dark

    *Please note this is not a new blog - it is a reposting of a blog I wrote over last (southern hemisphere) summer and which I chose to take down at some point. I am reopening my blog so am reposting some old entries along with new ones. There's a place I go, away to the south by the sea, cold and unwelcoming and marvellous, whipped by a wind that knows only endless miles of hostile ocean before finally racing gleefully across and up this yellowed hillside overlooking the bay. I can see...
  13. Realisations and Revelations

    Realisations and Revelations In everyone's life there are certain marked events, those that perhaps change us in some way, stick with us as important, commemorate, mourn, celebrate. These are the ends of eras, beginnings of new chapters, moments of significant change. Your first day of school, your first job, your wedding day, your 18th Birthday, the birth of your child, the first time you popped your cherry, the moment you came out to your parents and maybe even the first time you tried...
  14. The Bleach Test For Purity - Picture Results

    This is my picture results after testing what I assumed was high quality meth by dropping a pinch in bleach. Supposedly the high quality meth will cause the bleach to ripple/react upon contact. I'm just seeing how the drugforums blog operates & this is more of a test blog entry to become familiar with the functions. Please add anything related to a methamphetamine purity testing method which is commonly known as the bleach test over the years in the meth forum.
  15. My Cats may save my life

    Depression came before the drugs. I was first diagnosed with depression when i was 12 by a family friend who was a therapist. I told myself it wasn't true and that he was just trying to explain my behavior to my parents. But I think he may have been right. The second time I was diagnosed was after a rape. A friend took me to the campus couseling center where I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD. I told myself that wasn't true either. That they just wanted me out of the...
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