I was addicted to computers, As savant !!!!
Yea i was a baby when i started... Just a teenager who thought all drugs were bad, bad, bad and bad... I remember seeing the older kids smoke joints at the playground and i thought the stuff was the devil....
I was addicted to computers from the age of 12 to the age of 17-18 when i first started to use pot.. I would spend 12-20 hours a day on the internet and on my computers.. The only drug i was on was Adderal and i only considered it a medication for my ADHD... So i was a computer addict and i loved spending all of my time on the internet.
By the time i was 16 years old i was deep into hacking, cracking and programming.. Back then in the windows 95 days i could hack into almost any personal home computer that was connected to a dial up connection.. I thought it was awesome to have the power to run down and crash a Trolls computer into the ground.. I did it well and it was my addiction...
Between Gaming, Hacking, and Chatting on the internet... It was hardly a problem like drugs would cause. But i was isolated and did not learn any work ethics, I was lazy, and i always had to be on the computer from morning to the wee hours of the morning..
One day i decided it would be a good idea to exploit my talents at school.... I hacked into 20+ computers at the school. Getting Emails and passwords, I then sent out all kinds of dumb emails to teachers that looked like they were from other teachers.. Even the principle, I used his email to tell all the teachers that they had a Day off.. But i got caught....
The got me into a large room with all these people sitting around the table.. A few people in Police uniforms, a Laison officer, and some people with suites and ties.. I remember them saying that i would not be punished legally for this.. But that i could not touch a computer for a entire year... ""At school""
So i strayed away from hacking and then got back into it again after a few months.. I would hover around hacking chat rooms, IRC, ICQ and yahoo... Then i met a guy in my area that was probably 45 years old.. I think i was 16 or around that age give or take a year... I do not remember.... He said that he would meet me someplace and smoke weed with him..
So i researched weed... Nothing bad was ever said about it but what the school system tells you. That it is doom and gloom and that it will make you a drug addict. I tried it anyways !!!
I sat in the car with this sketchy guy and he showed me how to inhale... We smoked my first bowl out of a Snorkling mask with tin foil on the top.. Then unaware that i had any sort of buzz or was high.. I just said, Hey i gotta go....
I quickly went upstairs and got on my computer.. I was unaware that i was high and i did not notice it untell i found myself staring at the keyboard and i was so focused in on the keys that they were 7 times bigger..
I got up and had a bit of a panic attack, I raced to my grandmas room and was grabbing my chest.. I said grandma i do not feel well then i just stared at her.. She said what wrong ? Finally i snapped to my sences and said, Oh nothings wrong i was cleaning something and got a wiff of some bad fumes..
I went to go sit in the living room and watch TV.. BAMMM it hit me
I felt waves starting at my head and going down to my feet.. They were humming as if something was pulsing through me.. And i thought it was the best feeling ever !!!!
I remember getting weed shortly after that.. My very own first bag !!!!... Score !!!
I had this same feeling pulsing through me for the first few times, It faded away and i no longer felt that great feeling anymore.. But it still made me feel awesome... And i was instantly in love with everything about pot.....
It changed me and i was no longer scared of other drugs after a few months..
People say Pot is a gateway drug:
In my opinion i think the uneducated people of the school system is what got me hooked on other drugs.. They said Pot was Horrible and bad, yet i knew my parents would smoke it every now and then, And i could smell it at houses, and when i was a kid..
But they said it was bad.. And they would have some uneducated anit-drug preacher telling you about it.. Sticking mainly to pot..
So i figured if they lied about pot.. Then all those other drugs will be the same thing... You can moderate it and its all in the head.. Because i could quit pot whenever i wanted to, No bad effects, No withdrawals, No addictions......
That is what led me down this path.. uneducated people giving false information. Instilling fear into kids so they do not touch anything.. Putting the focal point on pot !!! Then when you figure out its harmless.. What happens ?
Well you get a whole generation of drug users who are un educated.. Do you think a school would tell children that Pot has medical benefits, that you cannot over dose on it, That it might actually be safer than alcohol ?
Of course not.... These people will push propaganda in your face !! It has nothing to do with harm reduction.. But rather the results of conservative, uneducated and snobby assholes... Yea that includes everyone who has never tried drugs, has no real knowledge of them besides the fact that they are bad... And the education these people provide for harm reduction is almost the same as putting ""Do not consume and if you do call 911"" on Mouth wash..
Its Stupid and i am putting this in my blog right now because i remember the root of the cause of how it led me into opiate addiction..
I can admit that they were my own choices and maybe i would of been a addict anyways..
But i still remember the uneducated rantings of a non tolerant one sided conversation..
Its almost like Sexual Education.. Do they show a porn of a guy putting on a condom and fucking a girl ? Do they even just show pictures or go into great detail ? Nope....
Its because our society is coddled and to sensitive to know the real truth about stuff. We fail to talk about real issues and when we do talk about them its in a fluffy, kitten, Rainbow, unicorn farting glitter kind of way...
OBESITY..Yea they talk about that crap all day...
It does not take a genius to figure out what makes you fat.... They even sugar coat that topic..... I am a skinny person and i can figure that one out..
So every time i see a warning, or a caution.. I think about or society and how conservative it is..
This is a Rant... Maybe its a useless one and not a single person will read it or agree with me.. But damn it sure does piss me off when i think about the touchy feely and Taboo of everything that is bad...
Hope someone reflected on this.. at the very least i am reflecting to myself......
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