Damn, I wish I has said that!

By Mick Mouse · Aug 2, 2013 · ·
  1. Mick Mouse
    "As I hurdled through space, one thought keep crossing my mind-every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder."
    John Glenn

    "When the white missionaries came to Africa, they had the Bible and we had the land. They said "let us pray", and we closed our eyes. When we opened them, we had the Bible, and they had the land"
    Desmond Tutu

    "America is the only country in which a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked"
    David Letterman

    "I'm NOT a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God damn it, I'm a billionaire!"
    Howard Hughes

    "After the game, both the King and the pawn go into the same box"
    Italian proverb

    "Men are like linoleum floors. Lay them right and you can walk all over them for 30 years"
    Betsy Salkind

    "The only reason they say "women and children first" is so they can test the strength of the lifeboats"
    Jean Kerr

    "I have been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage"
    Zsa Zsa Gabor

    "You know you are a redneck when your house has wheels and your car doesn't"
    Jeff Foxworthy

    "When a man opens the car door for his wife, it is either a new car, or a new wife"
    Prince Philip

    "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing"
    Emo Phillips

    "Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself"
    Harrison Ford

    "The best cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree"
    Spike Milligan

    "Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke"
    Robin Hall

    Kill one man and you are a murdered. Kill a million and you are a conqueror"
    Jean Rostand

    "having more money does not make you happier. I have 50 million dollars, but I am just as happy as when I had 48 million"
    Arnold Schwartzenegger

    "We are here on Earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea"
    W.H. Auden

    "In hotel rooms, I worry that I am not the only person who sits on the furniture naked"
    Johnathan Katz

    "If life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all of the impersonators would be dead"
    Johnny Carson

    "I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we are very skeptical"
    Arthur C. Clark

    "Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a guy wearing a Hawiian shirt and a baseball cap"
    Steve Martin

    "Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is!"
    Jimmy Durante

    "American is so advanced that even the chairs are electric:
    Doug Hamwell

    "The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone"
    George Roberts

    "If god had intended us to fly, he would have made it easier to get to the airport"
    Johnathan Winters

    I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it"
    Robert Benchley

    Share This Article


  1. Beenthere2Hippie
    Oh, you never disappoint. I love the quotes you came up with, especially Letterman's quote about America and wrestling. Thanks for taking the time to share.

    Now go write some more! :applause:
  2. bhonkers
    "We are here on Earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea"
    W.H. Auden

    That rings a bell with me. I have no idea if other people even exist or are simply a delusion I'm having. Or I might not be real but simply a character in someone's dream.

    Just heard Frankie Boyle describe his views on the meaning of life. He explained that the universe is one consciousness and we are god playing hide a seek with itself.

    He quoted the comedian Steve Hughes after telling him that because he had big bills to pay it showed you that you had to keep working or your fucked. Steve's reply was "Naw mate, we have to keep working or they're fucked"

    He is referring to the minority upper class who have convinced people they are irrelevant when actually they own most of everything and rely on our servitude to maintain their status.
  3. garda_charas
    Enjoyed every line:thumbsup:
  4. Mick Mouse
    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength. Loving someone deeply gives you courage"

    "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The Wisdom of Life consists of the elimination of the nonessential."
    Lin Yutang

    "To understand everything is to forgive everything"

    "Without any intentional, fancy way of expressing yourself, to express yourself as you truly are is the most important thing."
    Shunryu Suzuki

    "Everything is empty, yet even the most ordinary thing is marvelous in itself"
    Dr. Miriam Levering

    "We must learn to be still in the midst of activity and be vibrantly alive in repose"
    Indira Gandhi

    "Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, you will find fish"
  5. Mick Mouse
    One last one! "So long, and thanks for all the fish!"
    Douglas Adams
  6. Mick Mouse
    "All right, lets not panic. I'll make money by selling one of my livers, I can get by with one."
    Homer Simpson

    "There is only one thing worse than coming home from the lab to a sink full of dirty dishes, and that is not going to the lab at all!"
    Chien -Shiung Wu

    "Wherever the art of medicine is loved, there is also a love of Humanity"

    "Live in the serene peace of laboratories and libraries"
    Louis Pasteur

    "They say we learn from our mistakes, so I'm making as many as possible. Soon I'll be a genius!"

    "The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around"
    Thomas Edison

    "Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint."
    Mark Twain

    "Microbiology lab-Staph only"

    "Isn't a bit unnerving that Doctors call what they do 'practice'?"
    George Carlin

    "I like Nonesense, it wakes up the brain cells"
    Dr. Seuss

    And finally......"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable."
    The Wizard of Oz
  7. ZenobiaSky
    Love it those were all great, but with a mom as a Microbiologist, and me being a respiratory therapist my favorite is: "Microbiology lab-Staph only"

    Always love reading your blog, as I leave you with my favorite two quotes:
    "It's never to late to be what you might have been!" George Bernard

    "What is, IS. What is not, IS NOT. No amount of wishing or wanting can change that simple fact."
    Darleen Miller
  8. MoreGutzThanGlory
    I love this blog

    “The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.” By Dr. Robert Anthony

    “One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”
    ― Sigmund Freud

    “Life, as we find it, is too hard for us; it brings us too many pains, disappointments and impossible tasks. In order to bear it we cannot dispense with palliative measures... There are perhaps three such measures: powerful deflections, which cause us to make light of our misery; substitutive satisfactions, which diminish it; and intoxicating substances, which make us insensible to it.”
    ― Sigmund Freud, Civilization and Its Discontents (The Standard Edition)

    "There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized."
    Conan O'Brien

    "I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. --- Thomas Edison

    "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."
  9. Mick Mouse
    "Be thankful for the bad things in life, for they opened your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before."
    Kermit the Frog

    "When nothing goes right, go left"

    When asked how they managed to remain together for 65 years, the woman said "We were born in a time where if something was broke, you fixed it.....you didn't throw it away"
    My mom

    "Dear Algebra, please stop asking us to find your X...she is never coming back, and don't ask Y"
    My math teacher

    "You know why it is so hard to be happy? Because we refuse to let go of the things that make us sad."
    My counselor

    We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.

    It is better to walk alone than with a crowd going in the wrong direction.
    Diane Grant

    Never lose hope, for you never know what tomorrow will bring.

    You cannot hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life.
    (should be D-F motto)

    Some people are old at 18 and some are young at 90.....time is a concept that humans created.

    The mind replays what the heart can not delete.

    And finally....."One of the hardest decisions you will ever have to face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder"
  10. Mick Mouse
    "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
    Martin Luther King

    "The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it"
    George Bernard Shaw

    "Many a mans reputation would not know his character if they met on the street."
    Elbert Hubbard

    "All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
    Arthur Schopenhauer

    "Sometimes, the most ordinary things can be made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right people."
    Elizabeth Green
  11. Mick Mouse
    "no matter how smart you think you are, you are actually way less smart than that."
    David Foster Wallace

    "The object of Life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane."
    Marcus Aurelius

    "We are always the same age inside"
    Gertrude Stein

    "Be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful"
    Warren Buffet

    "Only the man who is not rowing has time to rock the boat"
    Jean-Paul Sartre

    "A society grows great when old men plant trees in whose shade they know they will never sit"
    Greek Proverb
  12. bhonkers
    The top bold quote is like how the world seems to me as what seems like normality and how things are done is actually like some kind of madness and having been recorded at times as officially insane and held under the mental health act and if I had to say which one was the mad house I would most likely pick this reality because none of the patients in the hospital invaded sovereign lands and slaughtered hundreds of thousands of innocent women and children's lives illegally and on a lie. Who gave the order? The leaders of the asylum!!

    The psychopaths are running the asylum. If you're awake enough you might just notice them.

    I love the other quote as it reminds me of me :)
  13. D0pe
    I sit on stuff while naked just so i can claim my territory.. IE: If i was a guest at your house i would sneak into your room and lay on all your stuff naked, You would not even know, And it would be a memory that would strictly be kept for myself..
  14. Mick Mouse
    WOW! I do that very same thing. In fact, lean over and smell your couch........
  15. Mick Mouse
    "A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation"
    Hector Hugh Monroe

    "The nice things about egoists is that they don't talk about other people"
    Lucille S. Harper
  16. TheBigBadWolf
    thank you. this made my day.
  17. bhonkers
    We are quantum beings having both human and spiritual experiences at the same time
  18. Mick Mouse
    "My therapist told me that the way to true happiness and inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I have finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake, and I feel better already!"
    Dave Berry
  19. Mick Mouse
    "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength"

    "The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose"

    "Never waste a minute thinking about people you don't like."

    What is lawful is not always identical to what is right."

    "People never gossip about the secret virtues of others.""To know how to say what others only know how to think is what makes men poets and sages. To dare to say what others only think makes men reformers or martyrs.....or both."

    "Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!