Day 4

By pinky808 · Mar 30, 2012 · ·
  1. pinky808
    Hey everyone!

    I'm happy to say that I think I've been doing pretty good. To recap I had 13 days of sobriety and then relapsed for 2 days and now I've had 4 days of sobriety again after that.
    The withdrawals haven't really been that bad at all. I had some suboxone to help me through it and after day 2 of relapse I felt so shitty that I called an outpatient rehab program near me and was able to go to it that day. I'm really glad that I entered it. Everything worked out perfectly for me to go in that day which is good for me because I'm the kind of person who needs instant gratification (which is how most addicts are).

    One thing that I have to remember is that even though I had those 2 days of relapse it doesn't completely erase those 13 days of recovery. I'm not completely back at the beginning of my journey... I made a mistake and now I'm getting better. I really wish I hadn't gave in to those urges though. But I can't beat myself up about it... You know? It just makes things worse.

    It's just hard because I want to find other things to think about and to make me happy and I feel like it's kind of hard. Like it's hard for me to be completely happy even though I am this positive person who does love life. I think most of my issues come from within myself.

    I went to yoga yesterday and it helped to make me feel better.

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  1. Metomni
    Yoga really helps, so does writing everything down and simply thinking about your strengths and weaknesses throughout the conflict you're having. I'm trying to quit cigs right now and I went 3 weeks almost and then smoked like half a pack and felt like I had failed when I was going to buy another pack the next day. Then, I kind of had the same epiphany you had in that I realized the relapse didn't make the previous successes I had meaningless, it just meant I had failed and would have to try harder this time. I actually bought that second pack of smokes, smoked two on the way to work, and then threw the pack out the window on the way home and haven't smoked for a week now. It's really about separating yourself from the negative influences and finding positive things in your life to focus on instead.

    Good luck! :)
  2. pinky808
    yes! Thank you so much for your support. i feel kinda like I'm going crazy here. I'm running on like no sleep so it sucks. But all my best wishes to you
  3. Metomni
    Well sleep is important in times of recovery. Have you ever practiced lucid dreaming? In my experience even when it doesn't help with lucid dreaming, the exercises help calm one's mind and assist in falling to sleep quicker, and a deeper sleep follows. Also, as silly as it seems "counting sheep" really helps a lot of the time. I mean it doesn't have to be sheep, but it's the repetitive behavior of counting something and picturing the same thing in your mind's eye over and over that helps your mind numb itself and fall asleep.
  4. Hardstepa
    How long have you done yoga for Pinky?did you learn it before you were into opiates? Im starting to teach myself as it looks like a real good thing to help keep me off drugs and to regain fitness.I did go to a class last year but as well as being the only guy there a lot of the women were kinda snooty,not really the kind of attitude I thought I would see at a yoga group.It doesnt really bother me being the only guy,that has its advantages also,but a lot of them were basically snobs.I have tried meditating a lot but could never get anywhere which is another reason im starting yoga.
  5. pinky808
    Metomni, yes I have experienced lucid dreaming! It's weird you ask that because I've been reading up more on that. Basically before I sleep I decide that I want to be aware in my dreams. Usually I have these reaccuring nightmares of tsunamis and when that happens I know that I'm dreaming... its strange. and haha yeah I've counted countless sheep in my day, it really helps... but I count backwards from 1000 to get the full affect.

    Hardstepa, I actually have been doing yoga since I was a kid. I was always interested it and in grade school all my peers would make fun of me for it! (lame) But you know how drugs are... I totally abandoned that for a few years with some classes here and there. So i'm just getting myself back into it now. I did about 3 classes this week and i LOVE it!!! It makes me happy... I do feel somewhat self conscious though because I'm pretty much at square one but I'm like who gives a shit. I just pretend that I'm the only one there. In my community there's quite a few men who practice and who teach. I think it's awesome. Sooo good for you and I really suggest you go to classes because then the teacher can correct you if you're doing the pose wrong. I've tried meditating but I can't seem to get there... I was looking up meditation type of classes today in my area but it seems interesting to me. Anything to keep me busy and healthy!!

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