I'm happy to say that I think I've been doing pretty good. To recap I had 13 days of sobriety and then relapsed for 2 days and now I've had 4 days of sobriety again after that.
The withdrawals haven't really been that bad at all. I had some suboxone to help me through it and after day 2 of relapse I felt so shitty that I called an outpatient rehab program near me and was able to go to it that day. I'm really glad that I entered it. Everything worked out perfectly for me to go in that day which is good for me because I'm the kind of person who needs instant gratification (which is how most addicts are).
One thing that I have to remember is that even though I had those 2 days of relapse it doesn't completely erase those 13 days of recovery. I'm not completely back at the beginning of my journey... I made a mistake and now I'm getting better. I really wish I hadn't gave in to those urges though. But I can't beat myself up about it... You know? It just makes things worse.
It's just hard because I want to find other things to think about and to make me happy and I feel like it's kind of hard. Like it's hard for me to be completely happy even though I am this positive person who does love life. I think most of my issues come from within myself.
I went to yoga yesterday and it helped to make me feel better.