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  1. no eff eks
    We've known each other a while now.

    I was what... 13 when we were first introduced? Fall of 7th grade my best friend had been given a film canister full of weed by a senior he was pestering.

    We spent the night in a half finished barn smoking from a home-made gravity bong/bubbler/empty 1-liter soda bottle with some tin-foil and a couple parts from a pen.... I had such an amazing time.

    Partly I was thrilled to have finally met this thing I'd been infatuated with ever since D.A.R.E. taught me how to resist drug abuse misinformation. Also because I loved how I felt... The Captain Crunch tasted so good I ate a good half pound before noticing the candy coated cereal had shredded the inside of my mouth.

    My friend and I talked endlessly about nothing and everything. Laughing with sincerity and falling in love... with you, with a lifestyle, with a mindset, and the idea that drugs make what appeared to be an ever-bleaker reality a beautiful clear fall night in Minnesota.

    I'm exhausted so I'm going to cut this letter short. I have to work in less than 4 hours and I haven't slept a wink. Partly because I'm out of pot for the night... but that's not really the whole story. That's not even the whole story of that night we first met.


    bye for now

Comments

  1. JoyfulLife
    This is a really whimsical way to tell this part of your story, and you leave the reader (me) wanting to finish it.

    OH, off topic,:applause: but I just watched your song you posted the link for, you are such a passionate artist, and its freaking awesome, the guitar you used. (I know next to nothing about makers or woods or whatever, but accoustic guitars just sound good.) I subscribed, I love local music. Its more heartfelt, still driven by emotion and a love to perform.
    Sorry, I'm going to stop rambling
  2. no eff eks
    Hey thanks for reading! I've been awake for way too long and when I'm in that state of mind I kinda just tweak out on my computer and spend a lot of time here at Drugs-Forum thinking about what I'm doing with myself and trying to use the experiences of others to help myself (or vice versa).

    I once wrote a goodbye letter to weed when I was 18 and about to go on probation for vandalizing some mailboxes with a 20lb monkey-wrench (yeah, rural minnesota is pretty hickish). I actually found the notebook I'd written the old "letter" in when I moved into my current place in june (along with a bunch of other ramblings/musings/songs/whines that resemble what I do here but in an even more confused style)...

    I guess that's sort of the inspiration for this blog post... as I'm once again looking at quitting smoking, but this time it's my choice and there's no deadline looming. I still haven't decided to let go... hopefully by the end of the letter I'll be there. If not, hopefully it's at least somewhat interesting for people to read about my relationship with this drug that I truly love.

    ...oh yeah, thanks very much for subscribing to my youtube channel. I hope my comment didn't come off as spamy because that wasn't my intention. I mean, sort of... but mostly I was moved by what you wrote and it reminded me of the song since they're about basically the same thing. I like your writing, it's honest and hopeful yet dark and depressing. That kind of art has always appealed to me whether it be writing, music, painting, whatever... Anyway, thanks so much for listening to my song and for the kind words. I need sleep now.... (as if)
  3. JoyfulLife
    Writing a letter is a great way to really establish how you feel about it. Of course, when it's an actual person I'm always tempted to really send it.

    Yeah! Your music was so raw, I'm always moved by real emotion, it's not easy to share that much honesty.
  4. derpahderp
    Very cool start bro. Content is your forte. :thumbsup:
  5. no eff eks
    Hey thanks derpahderp, you're too kind! Glad you enjoyed it!

    @ JoyfulLife - I think I'm going to do this to try to work through how smoking weed has influenced the life I've led, and what exactly I've taken out of the experiences I've had with it. If do a good job I think it'll help me let go of this silly addiction and find out what it's like to be an adult without chemicals influencing my actions/experience.

    As for my music... It's my only healthy outlet for negative emotions so that's usually what comes out. I've got a long list of issues and resentments to get over, and getting back into music has given me a source of pride to go along with the therapy of songwriting.

    It is honest because I am talking to myself. I can't help myself if I continue lying. It is raw because I am so angry and because I see a lot of beauty in imperfection. In the end I make music that is a combination of what I've always liked - fast paced punk rock, melodic yelling, and uncomfortably honest lyrics. If other people enjoy what I create that really does mean the world to me... but I'd be doing it anyway.
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