Dear partner

I don't even know were to even begin?? My head is such a mess with so many conflicting thoughts racing in and out.. Deep down I know what I should be doing but still a small part of me hopes that one day it will all be different.. Start to question my own reasoning, debating my thoughts "is it really that bad" "could I just accept it" "no why should I" "This is changing me"

Times I wish life would just stop or even better just step off this roller coaster mind battle..

I wish I could rewind life and stop you from getting a habit but I didn't so now I'm faced with a once week habit that has been going on for too long & yet I'm surprised it hasn't gotten completely out of hand already considering time length..

My life is good - I don't need or want this in my life. I hate not being able to say no when you bring it home. I'm able to sit at home & not think about / want / crave / need but as soon as you come home with it - life goes to shit!!!! Why can't I just say no???

What will it take for you to stop????