I am thinking about leaving the forum. I have not yet decided completely though. The original reason I joined has been left far, far behind, never to rear its ugly head again. And while I would like to think that I have been able to offer some small contributions over the years, I have been questioning the usefulness of those contributions lately.
I feel as if I no longer have anything worthwhile to contribute. My experiences are not unique, countless members here have had the same or similar things happen. The information I have to offer can be found in a number of other places, or even through other members, such as Al-k-mist and others here.
Should I leave while I am at the top of my game, or hang around like an old relic, until I drift off into obscurity? Maybe go the way of midget porn and the Blood Ninja.....only remembered by the really OLD members, and even then, in passing.
A big part of it is time, as well. I do not seem to have the time to devote to the forum like I once did, but maybe that is just me.
Another thing is energy. I find myself staying away from those places in which I could possibly make a difference, for the simple fact that the goddamn kids just will not fucking learn! You give the same advice and information over and over again, and each and every day, some fucking kid has done something stupid and we all get to read "Need help ASAP!" or "just done a shitload of _____ and never did it before. Am I going to die?"
Fuck yes, you fucking moron! We are ALL going to die sooner or later! How fucking stupid can you be?
How many times do you have to say We are not doctors. Go to the hospital if you think you did too much or are having problems. Start small and go up from there. We don't identify pills/ powders/ capsules here. Don't incriminate yourself. Blah, blah, blah.
I never suffer fools, much less gladly. And there will always be more foolish people than there will be of those who get the picture. This has gotten me censored here more than a few times, as I say what I think and feel, quite often without regard to what you might think or feel.....which is as it should be. Getting censored I mean, and not my attitudes!
My recreational use of drugs is non-existent these days, and has been that way for years. My medical use of drugs is dwindling, as I increasingly cut more and more from my regimen and move back towards a more natural and chemical-free lifestyle. My philosophy on this is simple-before I started adding all of these chemicals to my body throughout the years, I was young, strong, and healthy. If I remove all of the chemicals from my body, I should return to that state. Well, not young, but everything else!
At least that is my hope, because all a lifetime of drug use has ever gotten me is damaged relationships, failed dreams, and broken promises.
The list can go on and on.
The sun is setting and the horse is saddled. All I have to do is mount up and ride off into the sunset.
Into obscurity, with the rest of those whose dreams were greater than their skills.