Detoxing is psychological torture

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  1. Struggling In SoCal
    Let me introduce myself, I am a 48 year old female with a great family and a job that I love AND no one knows I have been on methadone for an agonizing 2 years. I decided months ago that it was time to try and get clean so I started detoxing 1 mg/week - I started on 45 mg and as of today am on 5 mg. Physically I am okay, but psychologically, I am in hell.

    After months of begging my healthcare provider for help I finally got the call I was waiting for, I have been approved to enter a 30-day program, this is when my anxiety escalated. Estimated admit will be the second week in March, will I be able to handle it and finish out the 30 days successfully? If I can't get clean what the hell am I going to do? What if someone finds out? These questions and more whirl in my head endlessly...I wish it would all just disappear like a bad dream.

    For months I have been searching and reading many posts on forums such as this one, DF contributors have been instrumental in giving me the strength to keep pushing forward with my one and only goal to be free of opiates-Thank you.

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