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  1. adzket
    taken from nhs site.

    Drugs and your child

    It is not an easy conversation to have with your child but being prepared to discuss drugs makes it easier.


    Two out of 10 women aged between 16 and 24 and three out of 10 men in the same age bracket have taken illegal drugs in the past year. If your child is in this age bracket, it's never too early or too late to talk about drugs.

    1. Take the opportunities to talk when they arise
    Four out of 10 parents avoid the issue and leave talking about drugs to schools and the police. It may help to take the opportunity when the subject comes up during TV programmes or in the news. Mealtimes can also be a good forum for discussion.

    2. Let them know your values and boundaries
    It’s important for your children to know where you stand on drug taking. Be very clear with your opinions on drugs, so they know where your boundaries lie.

    3. Avoid scare tactics
    Chances are your teenage children know more people who take drugs than you do, so there’s no point saying, “Smoking cannabis will kill you”. But if you point out that cannabis can cause mental health problems and make them forgetful and unmotivated, that will seem realistic to them and be more of a deterrent.

    4. Do your homework
    Read websites, leaflets and publications so that you understand enough about today’s drugs to talk in an informed way to your children.

    5. Know their friends
    Peer pressure is the single most powerful factor in determining whether or not your child will take drugs. Get to know their friends. Invite them to the house and take an interest in what’s going on in their lives. If you have good reason to think your child’s friends are involved in drugs, you may need to support your child to find a new circle of friends.

    6. Let them know you love them unconditionally
    It’s easy to be critical of your children, particularly when they’re displaying typically trying teenage behaviour. But make sure you say – explicitly and often – that you love them no matter what they do. That way they’ll be able to be honest with you about what they’re up to, not just tell you what they think you want to hear.

    7. Listen as well as talk
    When you're discussing drugs, make sure you don’t preach or give a speech. Let your child tell you about his or her experiences and fill you in on what’s really going on. It’s often easier not to talk face-to-face but to have a conversation side-by-side; when you’re driving in the car, washing up together or preparing food.

    8. Don’t be surprised if they argue, get embarrassed or storm off
    That’s a normal teenage reaction to talking about difficult subjects. Don’t be put off. A lot of what you say will have sunk in despite their over-the-top reaction. And don’t be afraid to revisit the subject when they’ve calmed down. You’ll be surprised at how much they take in, even while they’re insisting they’re not listening.

    9. Make sure they know that the responsibility for their actions rests ultimately with them, not you
    You’re trying to help your child make good choices in life about drugs. But the bottom line is that only they can say no to drugs. Be sure they know you support them but emphasise it's up to them to make the positive decision to be drug free.

    10. Be realistic
    It’s very common for teenagers to experiment with drugs: 32% of 15- to 16-year-olds have tried cannabis at least once. But remember that, of those that experiment, only a small proportion will develop a drug problem.

    11. Don’t panic
    If you do find out your child has tried drugs, your first reaction may be one of anger or panic. Wait until you're calm before you discuss it with them, and do so in a way that shows your love and concern rather than anger.

    12. Get support for yourself
    If your child has drug problems, get support for yourself. The charity Parents Against Drug Abuse (PADA) offers help and information. Families Anonymous provides support groups and a helpline for the families and friends of drug users .

    13. It’s never too early to talk about drugs
    That doesn’t mean you have to discuss crack cocaine with an eight-year-old, but you can empower your child to make wise choices and stand by them from a very early age. You need to make them feel sufficiently strong and independent to be able to say no.

    14. …nor too late
    Your child may already be using drugs. But there is help out there. Family support, with professional help, can enable a young person to give up a drug habit. Your best starting point is to go to your GP for help. Your GP can discuss with you the possibilities of rehab, either on a day-care or residential basis. Rehab can be provided free on the NHS but there may be a waiting list. Private residential rehab costs anything between £250 and £20,000 a week.

    Date published: Tuesday December 11 2007

Comments

  1. Nature Boy
    It's interesting that these two points completely contradict each other. If one actually does their homework (well), they might find that marijuana may never cause mental health problems or even demotivate an individual. There are too many factors involved and no study has conclusively linked marijuana use to a mental health problem that could never have been created without ever smoking marijuana. I think a better approach would be: "Don't let me catch you smoking pot while you're still under my legal obligation. If I do, I'll kick your ass!" :laugh:
  2. adzket
    lol @ swinatureboy well thats it swim would do same even though there parents activly encouraged some exsperimentation.
  3. adzket
    swim is wondering how swiy's out there would or do educate there kid's about the good & bad parts of substance use. any one got kids & had give them the talk hypotheticaly?
    would like to know. cheers.
  4. JaWill88
    swim knows if he had kids he would just try and be as rational and realistic as possible. it's stupid to try and scare kids. swim knows he wouldn't want it to sound like the forbidden fruit, cause thats how it was for swim so of course he wanted it simply cause it was something swim wasn't supposed to do. i would just explain that it can be enjoyable, but there is a chance for addiction, and that is what destroys lives.
  5. adzket
    very sensible idea swim totaly agrees kids should be educated more & not wraped in cotten wool.
  6. elpatto
    That is a tough question man, I'm upest i never got the drugs "Talk" just got alot of talk about drugs. :laugh: not realy though.

    I think it is important, and I have been ever grateful to my parents, for letting me know that if anything ever escalated into a tough situation that they insist they can help me. It always was just acknowleged that SWIM took drugs, occasionally his mother would ask him about something, often she would share experiences from her youth (I got a kick out of a acid story she told me). At the same time though SWIM was always treated quite fairly and respected as mature enough to make reasonable choices. SWIM's sister is not at all in the same boat, she is 16 and her mum wont let her drink. At age 16 SWIM's mother knew that he takes pills, ket, acid an coke fairly regularly (Anyone of those substances 2ce or more a month atleast) aswell as being a pack a day smoker and borderline alcoholic. SWIM thinks that it varies alot on the child.
  7. adzket
    swim wonders aswell as to the parent giving the talk like if mother or fathers opinions would be diffirent depending on parental bond or if there are cusdordy isues any swiy's friends out there have kid's what is there aproach?.
  8. nikky36
    SWIM tries to be realistic with her kids..............:)
  9. tryptamaster
    swims mom knew he was a dealer, daily cannabis user, and used coke acid e many pills alcohol shrooms and other shit (and thats jsut what she knew:laugh:) when swim was 16 also. she tried MANNNNNNY things to get him to stop but eventually she jsut had to come to terms with it and trust swims jsudgemnt. sounds crazy but thier really isnt anything else she can do.
  10. salviablue
    This really is "toughie".
    On many points.

    Where one may think that if they provide a safe environment for their kids to indulge in drugs, i.e. to know where they area, what they are doing etc., then there is the legal implications to consider. If, rather than letting ones kids say, smoke weed in the park, one lets them smoke in ones house/grounds, then say one of one's kid's friends gets caught stoned by their parents, and tells how they smoke pot at x's house.....the parents become enraged and inform the police etc.....

    Also, at what age does one consider when certain aspects of drugs are talked about/allowed.

    As far as my position is with my kids, is that "its something that there is no problem with providing you have knowledge, sense and resposibility. This would include waiting until the brain has finished developing (early 20's) until using drugs with any kind of regularity". Although in 99.99% of cases I don't think kids are going to wait until they are 20+ before getting pissed/stoned/tripping etc...
    So I would like to take Nature Boy's line of "don't let me catch you smoking pot <insert drug/activity> whilst you're under my legal obligation..."
    But then I would worry about encouraging them to hide their use etc...

    The homeless guy had a friend whom suspected his parents of smoking pot, yet had no evidence. When the homeless guy sold his friends some pot, at his friends behest, he got caught stoned by his parents. His father told him to make sure that the homeless guy came home with him after school.
    The homeless guy went to his friends house, got duely bollocked by his friends dad. all the "how does it feel to be a drugs pusher?", "proud that you are fucking up my sons chances of passing his GCSE`s?" etc..
    needless to say the homeless guy didn't sell, give nor share any weed with his friend again. He met his friend again several years later and he occassionally smokes pot with his parents.

    The homeless guy had another friend whom from the age of 13 smoked pot with his parents. He got top grades at school, farted around for a few years after college, then recently finished his doctorate. Since the age of about 22, this friend stopped smoking weed in most but a few occasions, although he is still quite a heavy drinker.

    The homeless guy told me of once when he visited a friends house whos parent where au fait with pot, and he started talking about mushrooms and acid and his friends parents flipped at the thought their kid may be considering "hard drugs" and is associating with those who do.

    Also do you hide your own use?
    When should you start hiding it?

    It is difficult, how do you make drugs not an issue, yet have it fit in with how the children will be influenced by others.

    so many issues


    I wonder if by bumping this thread, others, whom know of those that have kids, could tell their views/stories/rules etc..
  11. adzket
    thats well thought about, thanks for adding to this thread all this time later would like some more of swiy's oppinions as swim will not hav kids but wishes there parents where more strict with them as they have been miss using one thing or another since they where 14.
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