Falling off the Cow Wagon

By ZenobiaSky · May 25, 2012 · ·
  1. ZenobiaSky
    Flossy was having a good day yesterday as far as withdrawls and cravings. Amazing how one text you from someone you associate with your addiction can change all that. Flossy has herself convinced weaning off of meth will be easier than cold turkey, a few drinks later and she's hooked up, and smoking it the rest of the night. I see her returning to her pasture, looking like shit with guilt and shame all over her face. Being an old cow makes staying up all night taking a bigger toll on her than it used to. And she had responsiblilties she needed to live up to, and people counting on her. But her mind is mush and will let everyone down cause she needs to sleep because she wasn't thinking of that when taking that next hit. But she has realized... yes she is an addict, and yes this has become a problem. If she is lucky it will be like it is with Lortab, she doesn't have to have it everyday, and some days doesn't... but if she runs out, or gets close to running out she starts to panic. Wouldn't it be nice if it was only that easy. I'm glad she started this blog because it does help some to get it out. The hardest part of today is someone very close to her was taken off life support yesterday and is supposed to go see her this afternoon. Flossy can't think let alone drive, if she dies before Flossy says goodbye, because she was too busy feeding her habit, I just don't think I can forgive that selfish Cow.... on a final note before passing out. Although I started this blog for myself, and to help vent some feelings and what not, Flossy and I appreciate those of you who have been reading it, and for your support and comments.

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  1. ZenobiaSky
    Yeah ok, sometimes I like to comment on my own post instead of posting a new one, yes mushy cow brain is still up and getting ready to pass out. But she did make it to say good-bye to her dearest friend who has been like a grandmother. The doctors don't think she will make it through the night. And Flossy was very responsible in asking a friend to give her a ride to the hospital not only on no sleep, but also in a very emotional state. I am now physically and emotionally drained, and hope a lesson was learned here.
  2. knightsmith
    wow, i'm so sorry.
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