Decided against posting this on the forums due to the fact I'll likely ramble a bit, and that's not my forum style. I won't be using code words or names like before because I need to own this, it's my life. Let's get to it.
So, all my previous blog posts were about my meth relapse almost two years ago. A lot has changed since then. Biggest change in regards to this post, I Fucked around and got addicted to heroin/opiates. I guess it became a daily thing around July 2014. I'd been addicted to opiates before, mostly tabs and percs back in 09/10. Swore I'd never let it happen again. Woops. So much for that. Thinking back on the how/why of it, love is the first reason. My girl liked it so I followed along, never saying "No". The other Reason? I'm a drug addict.
Moving on. Living the junkies life. The daily grind to not be sick. It was fun in a way. November 2014 and things get different. My girl is pregnant. Its my first child. This is where I fail to say "No" again. We continue to use throughout her pregnancy. Yea we tried to kick it a couple times but when I would see her in pain and discomfort I just wanted to take it away. Granted we did taper off a lot and somehow my beautiful son was born July 13th 2015. With no drugs in his system and no dependency.
Alright moving right along, September shit got bad. My girl developed a bacterial infection and nearly died. Upon being admitted to the hospital she tested positive for narcotics and DSS placed my son in relative care. My girl was in the hospital for 37 days. She got clean in the beginning. But as soon as she asked for it I was poppin shots in her IV.
Once she was released we've been full throttle. Can't even stay clean long enough to take a UA to get my son back. Which finally brings me to today. The day it ends. I know I can do it. I know she can't. The simple thought of withdrawals brings her to tears. I'm just hoping I'm able to say "No" this time. I want us to do this together and not have it drive is apart. I want my boy back. I want happiness without drugs. It's time to grow up. We'll see how it all shakes out. Tomorrow is day 1.