I can not even express how angry I am to myself!How did not I notice it earlier and let it happen?This is just so stupid and I must stop before it is too late.
I have been clean for more than a year, then I started to use once a month on my night off,thought that it is not a big deal.Now it is once a week and I know that if I will not stop, I will use several times a day. And I do not want to be in that place again.
I know that the only way to solve this is to stop and I am going to do it.I just feel so ashamed of myself.I should be a role model for my loved ones, but what am I doing?
I guess, I just needed to write my emotions down.