Growing In and Out of Addictions

Wow, I felt like you were telling my story of how I got started, I too partook in many, many, many weekends expanding my mind by taking hallucinogenics, smoking weed (the days when there were only a few kinds), drinking and discovering what else I could experiment with. It's always scary when one day we become aware that we are all grown up, and have to become responsible members of society. I am still working on that one in my mid 40's. Kuddos to you on being clean and sober, it's not as easy as most may think, especially as we get older.

Sometimes it seems almost surreal to flash back to that era, and such a different way of experiencing the world...

Strange how the same "cool" party drugs that caused some of our classmates to depart this earth far too early, are now offered in an almost offhand manner by physicians. It's the same class of drugs (hydrocodone and H are both opiates), but what we once simply saw as a way to get high is now a legitimate medical option. Our perceptions and perspectives change with time and circumstance. We struggle to address very real health issues that have no easy answers.

The landscape may be the same, yet the view seems different now, doesn't it?

Interesting points made about the snipers in our lives.

I particularly can relate with the idea surrounding your thoughts on sobriety. My own substance of choice differs, but had a few friends that felt 'wise and in charge' of their habits..

The catalyst(person who introduced us into the scene of stimulants)took about ten years to get their life in order, and has a career he loves. I'm unsure if he still uses from time to time. We had a fallout but hear news about him from mutual friends.

The girl in our group was able to quit and not look back. She's very successful and has always been the rock of our group. The anchor and go to person. A very kind and nurturing person.

Me? Took five yrs off and lapsed recently due to stress/sadness. I'm in recovery and back on track with my life as well.

I feel as though I'm a battle weary vetran for my scene, and beginning to understand a lot about being positive from my experiences. Being in my 30's there were and are more decisions yet to come..and much more life to live.

I love your writing style thank for sharing your stories with us!

I really liked this but...don't you mean "Love is a Battlefield" - Pat Benatar?

Very interesting read and it was very insightful.. Like reading a book and getting into the moment... IT kind of reminds me of my younger days as a stupid teenager. Thinking all drugs were safe and not addictive. Since i already tried weed, booze, and Meth and never had any bad traumatic exerpience i figured everything is like this. They just try to scare you into thinking its all bad. They even tell us Tobaccoo is bad but everyone does it, Even Dad.... They even told me Coffee was not for Kids and i ended up drinking that stuff every morning.. Everything is the same and all of us should over indulge.. Well that is what got so many of my friends to the grave. They do still call every now and then, But when they call mostly its me talking to myself telling me how life should of been without the drugs..

Its kinda like going to the bank to make a withdrawal to avoid withdrawal... ohh The Irony..

My very dear friend, this is the kind of storytelling that defines you as a writer - it displays not only your very commanding yet quiet approach to the textured subject, but reveals, with the subtle modesty that has become your watermark, that singular and painfully elusive quality that every writer so desperately seeks, yet so few truly discover.

The voice.

This is tactile, engaging and clever - leaving the reader without option to examine with a concerned attention what we would otherwise wish to ignore. Even it its deconstruction, the framework and foundation remain unapproachable in distinction . If I may quote a phrase that stripped me of my shirt, then threw me to the floor;

"...when the snipers (sometimes friends, sometimes well-meaning physicians) do come, that our rifles are ready and our convictions remain strong"

I can see them clearly. You've painted these snipers well. These snipers are here.

I see them.

Like others, I can certainly relate (unfortunately) and while reading this, felt a distinct sense of.. A bond or perhaps "connection" would be more appropriate.
Growing up I thought I knew everything, could do anything and was in control. Obviously I was wrong.

Once I figured out just how little I actually knew and how badly out of control I was, I realized just how deep I was into my addiction.
Many rehabs and padded rooms later, I'm still an addict - and honestly probably always will be due to chronic pain and the necessity for pain management. Though I try to use as little as possible, I'm still knee deep.

Thank you for writing and posting... Sometimes it helps to be reminded that there are others; people who've walked, if not in my shoes, then next to me along the path.
Much love.