Habits die hard

By E.vanilla · May 15, 2014 ·
  1. E.vanilla
    Hello, I was addicted to heroin for 4 years, starting when I was 18 and my mother threw me out. I met a guy who introduced me to it, though he cannot be blamed, it was me who asked for it knowing her had some.
    I started injecting it straight away, I had been snorting methadrone (4mmc/ Mcat) and didn't like the come downs so heroin seemed like a godsend. It helped me forget my problems and felt amazing. It took me about a week before I felt withdrawals. Looking back, it was very mild and I probably should have stopped there, I didn't even know what was happening to me but knew that heroin would fix it.

    We spent the next year using up our savings and scrounging money off his parents to fuel our habit which was gradually becoming worse. We moved away because he was due to start university (I hadn't bothered to turn up to my A-level exams) and things became a lot worse. I started smoking crack and injecting into my groin but also got on a methadone script which stabilised me slightly, at least I wasn't waking up ill every morning anymore.

    He eventually got kicked out of university about 9 months later and we moved back home where my mother agreed to let us stay. He moved back with his family after a short time as my mother could see we were using heavily.
    At this point we were spending about £100 a day on heroin and crack and things couldn't have gotten much worse. Or so I thought. My mother threw me out again (I have never stolen off my family but was lazy and a bad influence on my younger sister) and having no where to go I moved into a crack den. My usage skyrocketed as my dealer would be there when I woke up and sit there all day. I had no veins by this point so would by crack, fail to get my heroin hit, buy more crack, spend another 2 hours trying to hit, get more crack and so on.

    I moved out of there And back in with my boyfriend who was by this time back at university but also running crack for a dealer we knew. About three months later, the flat got raided and my boyfriend went to jail for 3 months. This was awful and heart breaking but the best thing that could have happened for us in the long term.
    I continued to use though, spending £60 a day on crack and £20-30 on heroin whilst he was detoxing in jail using methadone.

    He was released in January Completely clean and helped me break the cycle of my addiction.
    I haven't smoked crack in 3 months and haven't used heroin in 1 month and have no desire to do so.
    I am currently on 8ml of methadone and dropping down 1ml/5days.
    I have put on 14lb and while I am still underweight I feel so so much better in my self. I have more energy and a desire to go out and do things again. We have just booked festival tickets which is something I wouldn't have even considered doing before.

    I am glad my boyfriend saw me through as the past 4 years haven't been easy and at times, though I loved him dearly, I was scared that without our addiction we wouldn't last as that is all we have known.
    He is doing his exams at university right now and I am looking to go back to college and basically looking forward to the FUTURE.

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