I Hate People

By DocBrock · Sep 8, 2012 · ·
  1. DocBrock
    I hate their chuffing guts.
    I hate people, kick them in the nuts.

    I wasted an afternoon in the company of a cretin and three other people who I hope are barren.

    Within seconds I had them sussed. Within minutes the cretin revealed himself to be wholly without merit, and the three book-read morons allowed their true snakeskin colours to show. My taste altered, and my hunger in many senses was quelled by a rising bile that I am not allowed to cull threats to the gene pool that whilst consuming resources, are allowed to spew their hatred and greed from a position of percieved knowledge and wisdom.

    I was tricked into effectively giving an afternoons consultation work for free. I trusted a friend who once trusted in me. He recommended me to his boss. I did some fleet driver awareness work, then retrained their car driving and van driving reps and delivery drivers.

    Saved them a fortune in incident costs. The resultant improvement in driver manners increased new customers numbers -and- churn reduced.

    Driver class employee churn reduced too. New customers initially meant longer shifts whilst viability and longevity issues were resolved, then, bang.

    Increased driver benefits drove further improvement. The initial costs, borne by all, were -nothing- compared to the rewards reaped by all parties. Customers and suppliers included.

    It introduced stability and co-operation based on an holistic overview production looking at as many important interaction loops as possible and communicating with each part of the supply chain.

    Based on that result, I was employed to evaluate a key product launch and possible production issues. By careful alteration of the prototype and encouraging supplier communication, costs have been kept down, profits exceeded expectations and suppliers could meet realistic requests with ease, grace, and a new willingness. Notice requests, not demands.

    It took all of, what, three hours to show most of -their- problems- stemmed from their ordering policy stressing supply lines and fluctuations causing instability and dissatisfaction in staff, staffing and work schedules.

    This leads to disappointed customers, pissed off suppliers who have over-tooled/produced based on surges and have in turn pissed others off.

    Their marketing sucked too, as did their greedy, punitive contract terms.

    Way to go me. Insulting their HR, marketing and sales and their bean counter cretin.

    HR women who are Mums, not just mothers beat Uni grads for me and she showed why.
    Marketing grads under 35 years old who have not experienced their target market in that field hold little value in my opinion.

    Give me a headcaseloonpot bi-polar, drug knowing, deviant wierdo. I trust them.

    Short term profit led sales and sales team churn in an area of business based partly on building long term business relationship trusts, constructed on respect, trust and delivery of promises both ways sucks and will harm the sector.

    Part of my final critique involved me responding to said bean counters blustered defence of his abilities, not his qualities. He had no qualities.

    I care less for the humidity from my flatulence than I do for qualifications.

    I showed how to change all that. Bog basic 5th Discipline field book stuff with beer game/car sales example.

    Nice, do-able solution. Sustainable long term for them, their workforce, their suppliers and it introduced trust and transparency to the business table. It introduced a duty of care. It introduced responsibility of ownership and learning from mistakes to ensure they couldn't recur. Put in place mechanisms that defeat the issues before the issue arise.


    Good!, that means we can lose -insert number of people- and increase profits that way!.

    I hate people so much sometimes.

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  1. highlikeplanes
    Trust me brotha, i know. :thumbsdown:
  2. beentheredonethatagain
    i love the style of your satire it has great detail.

    never work without a pre agreed wage.
    it saves a lot of wear and tear .
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