James Rohan, Neanderthal Man – Adam Buxton

By una_cavaletta · Dec 8, 2012 ·
  1. una_cavaletta
    I can't remember if this won Song Wars or if Joe Cornish's 'Jack Meller' did. J-corn's song is great but I prefer Ad's, really. The song is easy to find on YouTube and is 1:20 of jingley goodness.

    The album Song Wars vol I has a great Pet Shop Boys tribute cover. I'm not sure about vol II.

    James Rohan, Neanderthal Man
    There’s a man whose name is James Rohan
    (he’s a beast!)
    On the surface he is not hirsute
    But his armpit hair is scary
    And for that reason he is known as ‘Hairy’

    He is preoccupied with lady parts and solo fun
    Before the internet, he lived up on the top shelf
    He bought a Lindsay Dahl McKenzie* dvd
    (one time!)
    But returned it cause it wasn’t really dirty

    He likes football and drinking
    He's not a fan of thinking
    He nearly gets in fights
    With blokes at karaoke nights

    He sounds like quite a nightmare
    But perhaps that isn't quite fair
    Maybe there's a softer to side to Hairy
    That he's trying to hide?

    For example, Jimmy Rohan used to be a swimming champ
    Which is when they had to shave all his hair off
    When it grew back, it was longer and coarser
    Which may have left him with some feelings of resentment

    On the plus side, Jimmy Rohan really likes Star Trek
    Which indicates that he is not beyond redemption
    James Rohan: Neanderthal Man
    Learned from the lessons of the track

    And apparently, his mum is really fit.

    *no idea if this is the right name, not even sure who she's meant to be, some sexy acting or singing lady I guess. It does not matter.

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