I open my eyes to another day
Another day with my struggles.
Self-medication is my every problem-solver
A few preparations and I'm ready for take off.
I wince from the prick and hear a healthy *pop*
The only thing in sight is a flash of red
shooting towards my fingertips
And I'm already in sweet euphoria.
I am ready for anything
With her riding my veins I am untouchable
As we dance together she stays by my side
Like a warrior and my armour.
She makes me function when I cant
When I have no energy, and I feel spent
She is my angel, she pushes me on
so I get back up just to take on the dawn.
When she makes me see her ugly side,
I do not flinch, I stay right by her side,
only for her to leave me in my hour of need
I know she is dark, destructive, and evil.
whether I'm up or I'm down
always either down or out
I wake up with her in my thoughts and
Close my eyes at night just to feel her linger about.
I hurt so bad inside sometimes
my heart and insides might explode
My inner soul is crushing, stabbing, and pulsing
Through me with each pump my heart makes
I've lost it all
Money, family, friends
A lover, my soul mate
Also held captive by her
She is relentless and everlasting
How much more will I loose
and what else will I give her
I'm not sure. All I know is
tomorrow is another day
Another one such as this
I can feel my nerves starting to twitch
And my heart sinks because I know the struggle
I'm about to face
I know I'll be back right here as I am
Coming down after the blur of sunrises
feeling so still, so calm, so drained
once again, I will be her pawn to her little game
Moving, yet never knowing where I'm going
just being, existing
And I do it all alone
on my grounds, under my choice
Affected by the lust for her feeling under my skin
If I could choose freely, I'd be under a palm tree with the ones I've lost
Laughing, smiling and living again
Instead I slowly rot.
I am a living dead girl.
I am proof zombies exist
for I do not live, I simply exist.
Dear Drugs-Forum readers: We are a small non-profit that runs one of the most read drug information & addiction help websites in the world. We serve over 4 million readers per month, and have costs like all popular websites: servers, hosting, licenses and software. To protect our independence we do not run ads. We take no government funds. We run on donations which average $25. If everyone reading this would donate $5 then this fund raiser would be done in an hour. If Drugs-Forum is useful to you, take one minute to keep it online another year by donating whatever you can today. Donations are currently not sufficient to pay our bills and keep the site up. Your help is most welcome. Thank you.
Just to Exist