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  1. DocBrock
    Labels don't define but can be used to provide an illustrative and explanative outline. A label, like an idea, can be changed, altered, morphed, redefined. A brand cannot. I have been labelled, not branded. The language of belief is the language of possession. I don't believe I possess the script upon the label, nor do I believe the label is indelibly marked.

    It isn't my ideal situation, but if life presents you with a bucket of shit, plant a sunflower seed. For months, you'll have a bucket of shit to deal with, but from that grows a sunflower. You just need to control the shit.

    The labels are ascribed to identify me to others. To pre load some symptoms to question, areas to look at. Perhaps specialist help given.

    Very hard psych meeting. Brought lots up. Too much. A lot to work on. A lot of grief to manage.

    It opens new possibilities for relief. It opens new doors as old ones close. The corridor through which we pass has obstacles and side doors. The corridor, if it is too narrow is difficult to navigate. By widening the corridor, the obstructions are less of a hindrance and the path to the doors becomes clearer.

    Outside help to widen the corridor if the obstacles cannot be moved at all.

    By taking a sideways step now, and by allowing a label to be tied to me in that Paddington Bear way, I'm allowing the corridor to widen. The pressure to perform and conform is being lifted to allow a cell of calm to be built. Whilst I'm in that calm cell, I can map without hindrance. I hold the keys and can release myself, or I can lock the door and allow no-one in either while I'm in, or while I'm out.

    As the pressure is being lifted, horizons are widening. Possibilities are opening. I actually feel like jotting ideas down again.

Comments

  1. no eff eks
    Good stuff my friend, really enjoyed reading that! The way your musings are amorphous and ill defined makes it easily relatable for anyone that's felt like an outsider or had issues with regret, resent, and addiction. Through it all there's a hopefulness and honesty that is moving. Keep writing!
  2. DocBrock
    Thank you for your kind words.
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