Just wanted to update everyone on what is happening with me.. apologies for not having been around too much this summer, I am doing my best to help out here and there but have been unable to do as much as I would like.
I found out in mid-June that I am expecting. This will be my first child. The pregnancy was unplanned but is welcomed as a blessing and celebration of life. I consider it an honor to have the experience of helping to create a new life.
I have been very physically ill due to the pregnancy, and have had to be hospitalized a few times due to excessive vomiting and dehydration (hyperemesis gravidarum). I am on an anti-emetic (ondansetron, or Zofran) which has been helpful but doesn't solve the problem entirely.
I have also come off of the medications I was taking for my sleep disorder, including daily modafinil and occasional/as needed methylphenidate. Both are considered FDA category C for pregnancy. While prescribed if needed, it is a matter of weighing the balance of pros and cons, the risk to the mother of not taking the meds and managing the health condition, versus possible risk to the baby by taking them. I have chosen not to take these medications for the time being, although my doctor feels that it is safe, and if absolutely necessary to function I will take them as needed. But for now, I prefer to get by without. I had no trouble coming off them, and while I have definitely noticed increased fatigue and somnolence returning, it is manageable and is also likely in part due to the pregnancy itself, as fatigue is a common first trimester symptom. I have also cut out all caffeine (while some doctors say a small amount is okay, it can be harmful, and it's not something I feel is necessary as I didn't drink it that often anyways) and am making an effort to purchase all organic produce and other food and household items. It is amazing how much changes due to pregnancy- both lifestyle changes made by choice, physical and emotional changes, and a very different perspective on the future, life, risks, relationships.. it is definitely a learning experience and a shifting in priorities.
I am currently in the tenth week of the pregnancy (9 weeks, 1 day along) and while I am trying to embrace each step of the journey, I cannot wait to finish 13 weeks and enter the second trimester, as that is when most of the "morning sickness" and other symptoms abate. While it is possible for hyperemesis to continue throughout a pregnancy, it is much more likely that it will improve within the next month or two.
I am grateful that I found out so early (about 3 1/2 weeks) so that I could seek proper prenatal care and begin to prepare for the process. I had my first ultrasound the other day and it was absolutely amazing. I also got to see and hear the baby's heart beat for the first time, a healthy 168 beats per minute (baby's heart rate is supposed to be between 120-180).
I am reading a great book by Deepak Chopra called Magical Beginnings, Enchanted Lives. If anyone else has recommendations for books, feel free to pass them on. While most of the modern/popular pregnancy books have helpful information on the physiology of pregnancy and childbirth, I am also trying to do some reading and journaling on the spiritual and emotional aspects, and approach this more holistically. I feel pregnancy and childbirth are much more than medically managed issues or conditions, and should be approached as such.
I am choosing between parenting and adoption, I am at peace with either choice and don't feel pressured to decide right now, but to give it time and know that either option will be a positive one. I have always known I wanted children, that has always been a goal in my life and still is, it's just a matter of whether it will be a better option to start that family now, or whether it would make sense to place the child with a family who is planning for and waiting for a baby, and to pursue other life plans before proceeding with my own dream to raise kids.
Hope everyone is doing well and having a great summer!!