Just over a year ago we lost the best cat ever, Buddy:
Maybe this sounds screwed up, but this was the biggest trauma I've ever been through, much worse than my grandparents dying. He lost most of his jaw to oral cancer but he coped with that fine, he ended up dying of a respiratory inflammation. He died right in front of me just after I got him to the vet's and the image is seared into my mind permanently. He only lived a short time after his cancer surgery, and I've not yet forgiven myself for putting him through that.
Now it's happening again. Our first, oldest and most dear Zoe:
had a large tumor removed about six months ago and we've been hoping for the best, but it's metastized and her days are very shortly numbered. I'm going to have to have her put down really soon and it's killing me. I won't even mention how badly my wife is taking it. I don't think I'm ever going to put another cat through cancer surgery again, and I'm also not sure if I can handle this too many times in life. We've got two cats left in great health, and I'm not so sure if I'm going to get any more after they go.
Many tears here at the radio household these days...thanks for reading. (Pictures awaiting mod approval I guess.)