Losing another one of my babies

By radiometer · Oct 26, 2008 · ·
  1. radiometer
    Just over a year ago we lost the best cat ever, Buddy:


    Maybe this sounds screwed up, but this was the biggest trauma I've ever been through, much worse than my grandparents dying. He lost most of his jaw to oral cancer but he coped with that fine, he ended up dying of a respiratory inflammation. He died right in front of me just after I got him to the vet's and the image is seared into my mind permanently. He only lived a short time after his cancer surgery, and I've not yet forgiven myself for putting him through that.

    Now it's happening again. Our first, oldest and most dear Zoe:


    had a large tumor removed about six months ago and we've been hoping for the best, but it's metastized and her days are very shortly numbered. I'm going to have to have her put down really soon and it's killing me. I won't even mention how badly my wife is taking it. I don't think I'm ever going to put another cat through cancer surgery again, and I'm also not sure if I can handle this too many times in life. We've got two cats left in great health, and I'm not so sure if I'm going to get any more after they go.

    Many tears here at the radio household these days...thanks for reading. (Pictures awaiting mod approval I guess.)

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  1. MiMoMo
    Dear radiometer,
    Kitties the world over are purring in order to sooth your hurt and return your kind affection. Having lost my best feline friend last month, I share your grief.
  2. Alfa
    I fixed the pic urls for ya. The format was wrong (used album.php?albumid=40&pictureid=2172 instead of /picture.php?albumid=40&pictureid=2172)
  3. Nargyle
    As a cat owner I'm really sorry about your situation, I don't know what I would do if that happened to my baby Ganja, lets just hope they find a warm cozy place in kitty heaven.
    Love and light
  4. radiometer
    Thanks for your condolences. They are much appreciated, I don't mind admitting that I wrote this in a bid for some sympathy from my DF friends.

    If anyone's wondering, yes that is my crazy buddy Eddie in the 2nd picture.
  5. fnord
    Shitty deal,sorry radio!
  6. radiometer
    I've talked with a doctor who does a mobile vet service and who will come and euthanize her here at home. Thank god. I didn't know how I could possibly bring her to the veterinarian's one more time. She hates it so much and it seems like a terrible environment in which to spend her final moments.

    I don't know what I expected, but I'm really disappointed and sad that there have been sixty-something views of this blog and only three of you have expressed sympathy in any way. So much for reaching out.

  7. TMM
    Well it's hard to express sympathy. Sometimes just saying 'I'm sorry' doesn't feel like enough.

    I can understand the trauma. It's hard to lose such a long time companion. I've only had one of my cats die, but it wasn't so bad because he was very old (20) and it was sort of expected. I have witnessed a cat die right before my eyes (on the road) though, and it's pretty terrible.
  8. wretchedunloved
    So sorry to hear about your loss ;-;
  9. radiometer
    That rings true, thanks for saying so.

    She's perked up a bit so I think she's gonna stick around for a little bit - I'm not allowing myself any hopes, if she feels like hanging with us for a couple more weeks, that'd be awesome. So between that and having found a good vet for home euthanasia, I'm feeling a little bit better.
  10. savingJenniB
    This blog has me totally bawling. Great big crocodile tears. Being the proud mother of many wonderful felines, and presently owned by three purr monsters.

    Still miss my Tex ~ catson for 17 years . . . everyday. He pasted on Easter Sunday of 2007.

    Zoe looks beautiful ~ wish that I could reach out and give her a cyber rub.

    Blessings radiometer. . .
  11. guldenat
    I'm sorry buddy. Cats are wonderful companions. My sincerest condolences.
  12. Metomni
    Pets are dear things, I am sorry buddy, I cried for so many nights after my puppy died a few years back. Hopefully she hangs in there for a while longer.
  13. Dickon
    Growltiger, our Bengal, is chirruping to try to cheer you up.
  14. savingJenniB
    Yes, my Stallone * (Sylvester Cat - in my profile pic) is chanting for your sweet Zoe.

    * This cat has cost us well over $2,500 in vet bills alone and he is only 2 yrs old!

    Eats everything & then gets backed up ~
    now I'm getting pretty good at giving cat enemas! At $350 a shot, I quickly realized, I had chosen the wrong profession!
  15. sylenth
    i feel for you with your cuddly furry friends passing & now ZOE heading for kitty heaven... i love cats & it's always so damm emotional losing them or seeing them suffer, personally i do'nt have any kids, my pets are my kids...

    BUDDY aka 'scar ear' was cute & now this grey & white kitty ZOE so adorable. i wish to meet up with BUDDY & ZOE with my past pets in the next life...

    xxx. sylenth.
  16. radiometer
    Zoe's good patch only lasted a few days, and the time has come. She is going to be put to sleep tomorrow around 1:00 PST here, hopefully it won't be raining so she can go outside.

    We let her out in the yard today, and she was really happy about that (she used to be an indoor/outdoor cat), although it tired her out a lot, and she stuffed herself with Gerber's baby food, almost like she knew it was her last dinner. Then she spent hours on the couch with us, though she'd mostly been hanging out by herself lately. This cat is so smart it almost seems like she knows. We're trying not to cry too much but it feels so much like sentencing her to death, on top of the grief from losing her.

    Somebody was great enough to trap her and her litter of kittens from behind a Burger King, and the "cat adoption house" lady said she was sort of unsuitable and shocked when I picked her. She was a great cat and eventually so much more sweet than we ever would have guessed, and she had to have had a great life compared to what was in store for her.

    Thanks for your kind words, all.
  17. MiMoMo
    The depth of compassion within Zoe's heart engulfs your entire family with love. What a wonderful slice of life was shared by your chosing such a 'sort of unsuitable' cat companion. Know that Zoe has given her entire life in admiration of your kindness. Such is her gratitude that it teaches us about life in a way 'so much more sweet than we ever would have guessed'. My heart breaks again as I recall my own favorite's passing. Though sadly grieving, I thank you for making me feel this way. Goodbye Mademoiselle Zoe, what a miracle!
  18. savingJenniB
    Feel like an idiot crying . . . Bye Bye Zoe
    You led a good karma life.
    The next one will be even better.

    Blessings radiometer ~ never say no to the new cat in the future who will find you.

    Want to communicate more but, all I can find are cliches . . . embrace your wife ~ remind her that life is good.
  19. radiometer
    OK, last post.

    Zoe's resting peacefully now. The doctor was really good and the whole process took about 40 minutes. She was able to fall asleep for the last time in her favorite flowerbed. It cost a bundle but it was well worth it.

    Thanks again for reading and letting me vent my feelings here.
  20. helikophis
    This sounds like a really hard experience. Thank you for sharing it with us. Do you still have cats, a year later? I'm sure you still miss those who have passed.
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