I do not know what to write. I feel like I am going to have one of my mixed episodes again. It is like doing a lot of very crazy stuff ( Like in normal manic episode, just except that these things are really bad and you are doing them in endless anger and fustration allways comstantly judging yourself)that are harmful for others witch you really can not controll and every single minute of your existence wanting to die and constantly judging yourelve. Even in that constant while when you are doing something, you hate yourself.
Drugs just solve them down.
I would like to end it all, but I have my significant other to whom I am not only the lover, but, despiting his popularity, his one and only true friend.I would like to die but I can not afford, hahahahahahahaha
Please, really, post your advice if you have some!
I do not want to end up in mental ill hospital in Eastern Europe once again, because it is even worse than being in prison.
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