It's been a day or so, and things seem to have calmed down some. Although I seemed to miss all my appointments today, I did see my therapist yesterday. Believe it or not, I came up with my own answer to all the stress in my life and how I couldn't take it anymore. I realized I needed to set boundaries with my friends that were starting to annoy me, and causing me more stress. Also I need to realize that their problems are not my problems and therefore I do not need to fix them. If asked for my help I will be more than happy to help if I can as long as it's not monetary, or more than I feel comfortable than doing. When my friend Chris stopped by yesterday morning DRUNK!! I realized I had reached my breaking point. I grew up with an alcoholic, I've dated too many of them, and almost married one. On most occasion's his alcoholism doesn't really bother me, but when you show up at 10am drunk, asking me to do things for you that you don't know how to do and criticize or try to tell me how while breathing that stench only an alcoholic can produce, that's when I say enough is enough. And then your gonna pull the suicide card on me again, I'd had it, told him if he was going to do it, than do it, otherwise quit putting me and his nephew threw all this turmoil. My therapist asked me how I felt saying that.... "Not bad that's pretty much what my sister-in-law said after my last attempt". I feel more at ease after standing up for myself, and realizing I don't have to save everyone or make there lives better, they are the only ones who have control over that. And yes of course during all of this, Flossy had to go acquire another bag, and during all of this is still using, either smoking meth, or mixing it with her meds. I realized she is going to have to admit it to somebody in the mental health clinic soon, but we both no she will be sent to the cow psych hospital if for nothing else but to detox. So I can't rat her out till after my convention next weekend. After that, Flossy and I will either put up or shut up so to speak lol. It's a crutch she can't afford, imagine how much money a cow really makes.. hmmmm. I will tell you what I have enjoyed the last couple of days, this forum. Researching answers for people, posting interesting news articles, I even have a paper I'm writing (nope no hints you will just have to wait!!!) Wow I didn't realize I had that much to get off my chest. That's what I like about having my own blog. Maybe that's what I will do tomorrow, read some blogs, I've been selfish in not keeping up with other peoples blogs, and only thinking of my own, and thank you for those who do read it, and to those that respond. For now... it's a goodnight.... and Peace Out!
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Maybe it's not so bad