Good news, my cat thinks - bender not this weekend, but next. It's not like she's counting down the hours or anything
It has come as such a relief for my cat that there is a date set, in site, where she can use again. After scoring a free point last week and wanting SO BAD to have her tomcat say, "Yes, let's get high" she suffered a little mini-meltdown on Friday night last week.
It's amazing what triggers the need to use. Friday nights are one of the triggers for my cat. A really epic one actually. I'm sure this is the same for many ICE users as the start of the weekend has such promise for getting high, getting sexy and getting through the whole weekend with little sleep, little food and little to worry SWIY at all.
So yeah, the meltdown...
Poor tomcat. He finished up with some extra-curricular activites, came home that night and my cat was ready to spit out something poetic, something clever and cunning, something... enticing and certainly persuasive to try and snare tomcat's interest in having a smoke. A wee one at that, it was only a tiny little point between the two of 'em, so where's the harm in lighting up right now? It'll be gone in no time! Right?! WRONG.
Tomcat was NOT interested, nor was he interested in my cat's pleading, begging, stomping her feet and having a tantrum when she heard the word "No."
After her little spat, she stormed off, busied herself, stomped around the house some more and decided to get involved in that game we're probably all too familiar with. You know the "short answer" game? Where someone says, "Are you alright?" and you snap back one word answers for that, and everything else? Yeah. My cat played that one. Not very well either, tomcat was clearly unimpressed and this is something that never happens between these two - they're the couple (of cats) that make you sick they're so in love, so respectful of eachother, so in tune, so perfect, so happy... well, not last Friday night anyway.
The trend for my cat the weeks prior, has been lighting a spliff of either "legal weed" or the real thing, to calm her down, forget the ICE, forget the pipe (that they threw out last month anyway!) and forget the whole tweaking scenario. It works a treat. She shoulda remembered that after the first "No" was spoken.
After ten minutes, she stormed outside with her spliff, smoked it up and watched tomcat potter around the kitchen, the feelings of guilt and remorse washing over her with every toke as the VICE LIKE GRIP that Tina has over her started to fade. Upon reflection, she realised, it was Friday night, they had one measley little point and she's had this whole "why not now?" thought process going through her head for hours, plus she was fucking dying for some relief from the seemingly endless comedown ICE seems to have on her, even weeks after having her last puff. It was all a bunch of triggers really. Not tomcat's fault. He didn't deserve this. So she hung her head and walked inside... offering an apology and explaining her theory on why she was jonesing so bad, given all the contributing factors related to her personal "triggers".
Needless to say, tomcat accepted, but not before making it quite clear that he was simply ready to walk out (temporarily) on this misbehaving child who had failed to get her way. Sobering. Truly.
Tomcat ran her a bath, let her smoke another spliff in the bathtub (nice!) and gave her, her current book she was reading. Ahhhhhh blissssss. Life is good with tomcat - it's not always easy for my cat's inner child, who is unfamiliar with boundaries (deluxe) BUT in the long run, tomcat does what's best for his cat - he looks after her. The shitty thing is, the night before, when my cat had scored the free point, she wanted to smoke it, but didn't, holding onto some integrity and that promise she made tomcat, to never use without him knowing. She felt so good about that and it all crumbled under pressure. Lesson learnt.
ICE was not going to be an option for a while, but as there is an opportunity to use next weekend, my cat's inner child came out whining about partaking in the party the only way she'll really enjoy it, and presto magico - the cats are getting high next weekend. Tomcat is a fucking good male cat.
So.... I'm writing because my cat is uber excited. Reading up on all meth, ice and pipe related threads, just to make sure the build up to the big night is like the incredible foreplay to an orgasm that's been building for years. My cat has truly never felt anticipation like this.
My cat remembers, long before methamphetamine, when pills where it, the sheer idea that they were on their way to your door, or that it was half an hour or so before you dropped - that kinda excitement would send her into the bathroom for... you know. That, and the butterflies in her stomach were likened to that of a huge, zoo style greenhouse full of hundreds of different species, fluttering around in there, partying like it was 1999. THAT was the kind of anticipation she was used to. This new style of anticipation for ice is a whole 'nother ball game.
I'd say a half gram, plus the other spare point, three days and some wild partying will be just what the doctor ordered for my cat. FUCKING STOKED. She hates the sporadic approach to using, being at the mercy of someone who doesn't feel the pull as much as my cat feels it, BUT what other option does she have? CanadianBakin knows she has three other far less appealing options and I remember those everyday when my cat gets her knickers in a knot about not being able to use when she wants to. She's being drip fed. She's fucking thirsty. Loses her mind momentarily and then snaps back to reality. Coping? Just. And I gotta say, on behalf of my cat, "just" coping with meth/ice use is probably A LOT better than not coping at all
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My cat and her meth journey #3