As some of you know,I have a very good friend Dave.Dave struggles constantly with his addictions,and sometimes emerges victorious and sometimes (usually) has to start once again.
Dave is a very smart, hard working guy,but for some reason opiates of all kinds sunk their teeth in him, and he is still trying to extract himself.He has been a functional junkie for years,and to be honest NEVER considered this a problem.After a few close calls he came to understand the underlying things that made him a great candidate for junkie hood (new word).
So now after cleaning himself up once,and going to a doctor that doctors(not a pill dispenser),he of course traveled the path that got him here in the first place.He blames no one but himself for his follies,and has stories that will curl the toes of even the homeless junkies that he gives money to daily,he has to begin again.
Its sorta like when you know that if you put your hand in a rat trap it will bite.Well Dave seeks out the fucking traps,sets and baits them then puts his fucking hand in.Does a normal reasonably intelligent person act in this manor?That's the big question about addiction,cause Dave can tell you intelligence and smarts play no role in the battle.It comes down to brute force of will to win this battle.
Dave has known for years that he had a problem,just chose to ignore it.In the last 5 months he has learned more about himself than he consciously knew in the previous 35 years.
This seems like a good time to take a break.If anyone happens to read this all the better.