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...:: my own private insanity ::...

  1. kailey_elise
    Where to begin?

    Finally, my stress levels are down since my ex-husband moved out. That's good. I'm still overweight, but now that my stress levels are down I've been able to drop some weight (22lbs in the last month & a half!!). Stamina's up; I walk at least an hour a day now, have sex at least once a day without triggering an asthma attack. ;)

    I'm sleeping on the couch of the apartment I used to have a bedroom in; however my ex-husband was paying the rent on the room & in no way do I have enough money to pay the rent here. So, I moved to the couch in exchange for doing the dishes & trying to keep the house generally tidy. And not only do I do that, I also make dinner nearly every night. *beams* I am apparently the first "house bitch" that has followed through with doing the chores after the first week, hahaha. Plus, I'd already been living here for 2+ years prior to moving to the couch, so they had already had relationships with me & thus don't seem to be irritated by my presence here & I don't feel like I'm intruding. Which helps.

    I'm still applying for housing & waiting on it, though. Although we all seem to be happy in our incestuous little home, I *am* sleeping with 2 of my roommates (one of them I've been having sex w/off & on since I first moved in, though), which *definitely* has the potential to become very messy. So, having my own space would be a good thing, plus it's just soothing to know you have your own little private space in the world. Even once I get housing, I will probably spend a good deal of time in this house...but the point is, I won't *HAVE* to.

    The drug addiction has become almost a non-issue. I am still on MMT, I have dropped my dose down now to 80mg & plan to put in a request to drop an additional 5mg when I go in on Tuesday. No real cravings for cocaine, though I could drink alcohol a little less. I'm not getting sloppy wasted everyday or anything, so that's still good. Drinking used to be a huge issue, because when I was on a higher dose of methadone, if I had one drink & sat down, I'd immediately fall asleep. Dropping just 5mg made a difference & I stopped doing that. Then again, now that I think about it, perhaps it's the fact that I'm on Welbutrin (bupropion) now, which is a (very) mild stimulant. Either way, I can have a fun Friday night with my roommates, or drink some wine with dinner & not pass out in my plate. ;)

    Obviously, I'm always on the lookout for potential problems; never do I want to go back to where I was. Ever.

    Anyway, I will sign off here for now. Just wanted to comment about the status of my life at the moment. :)



  1. beentheredonethatagain
    hang in there child, we all love you and we aint even getting any.
  2. Routemaster Flash
    Well it's not very private now, is it? ;)

    (seriously though, good luck with everything)
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