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my pledge to play my part in preventing cyber bullying

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  1. detoxin momma
    in this day and age,the kids have it much tougher than we did as kids.
    cyberspace,how detrimental this can be on a developing personality.

    these kids spend too much time online.social media especially.

    in my home we allow no social media of any kind.we are a facebook,myspace,twitter,IG,or any other form out there,free home.

    i am trying anyways.

    i have an 11 year old daughter and a 9 year old son.
    where theres a will theres a way.kids will find a way when they're determined enough.

    i have caught my daughter on "KIK" against my wishes 3x now.this is a newer place for the kids to congregate.she lost her tablet for a month each time.and i set a pattern lock so that only i can open it now.

    when the norm these days is to post and share every little aspect of your life,its hard to regulate your childs internet use.
    they want to be doing whats seen as normal.they want to be part of the in crowd.

    but,theres just so much drama and flat out meanness floating around cyberspace,allowing your child to subject themselves to this is a very risky situation.

    i myself have found our family right smack dab in the middle of a cyberbullys attacks,against my daughter.
    and we happen to know the bully is a mother,in the neighborhood,hiding behind her daughters profile.
    they used this "kik" site to do it.
    also,we have been sent full nude crotch shots from grown men on this site.

    saying this so parents are aware.dont let this kiddy image for this site fool you!

    we decided the safest and most confrontational free approach was to completely stop anyway for this person to contact my child,online.

    but,not every parent,or child,feels able or willing to be open with their parents,or child.its a hard situation.but you cant just sit by and hope that things will turn out for the best.
    you have to apply yourself and put forth the effort to protect your kid.

    this whole situation makes me remember the megan meier story a few years back.
    13 year old girl hangs herself because of cyber attacks.
    from a neighbor,a mother even.

    these people created an entire fake profile with the intent on lifting this childs spirits,just so they could bring her down in the end.and it worked.its heart breaking.

    the problem is people in america are protected by the first amendment,freedom of speach.

    but,when the person is hiding behind a phony image,thats not freedom of speech,is it?

    it'd be a completely different situation if the attacker was using their true name and true image.like,hi,this is me,you know me,and i have this that and the other to say about you.

    thats different.thats freedom of speech.

    so,what can parents and kids do about it.
    we have to do something.we cant just ignore it and hope it doesnt happen to your family.

    i vow,that i will never allow my children to sit online for hours unsupervised.
    i will never allow my kids to be on social media.may be drastic,but my kids state of well being is more important.
    and i vow,if i ever see that a person we cannot identify as a real life person we know,they will be blocked deleted or whatever needs to be done.
    and most importantly i vow to listen,and ask questions.

    i just told my daughter during an argument over this that i am trying to save her problems.i am trying to protect her.i told her,isnt your life so much easier when you dont have to spend time and energy over worrying about things said online.

    these kids grow a huge set of balls when speaking online.its like they forget that they have to face each other the next day.
    only complicating their lives.

    parent equals protector in latin terms,thats my job,to do my best to protect my kids from harm.

    so,i have wrote this blog as an attempt to shed light on this topic.
    this is very important,and a major factor in kids these days lives.

    if 10 people read this blog,then decide to go review their childs device they use for internet,then my effort here has been served.

    talk to your kids.listen to them.tell them words cannot hurt them.
    most likely they wont come to us,we have to bring it up.
    and before they're already suffering.

    be proactive,not hopeful and naive.

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    About Author

    detoxin momma
    Just trying to make it threw life one day at a time.....

Comments

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  1. detoxin momma
    i appreciate your comments Healer, my kids havent been on that site in some time, it actually became a pretty big issue around here. noone we know uses that site anymore, went from naked photos, to this 'talking Angela' is watching you go throughout your day.....went south pretty quick...

    but since we're on the topic of bullying, i saw this video yesterday, and felt it worth sharing.

    http://www.azfamily.com/story/34700156/gilbert-dads-message-to-son-about-bullying-goes-viral


    i want to hug this little boy :)
  2. Healer
    Kids don't have it worse at all now compared to any past generation. The same shit that kids were bullied on now is the same shit people dealt with decades ago. Kids now are grown up in such a sheltered environment and the fact that most adults can't even punish kids now in certain ways or else somebody will have them taken away makes kids pussies. If you let your kid online they're exposed to the whole world. They can be censored just like I was as a kid when the worst thing I could get into was porn on the TV. Oh and when I did get internet my parents had child block on the computer when they realized I could find unacceptable shit kids don't need to see.

    When I was in school my parents told me to fight back if somebody pushed me. They told me to stick up for myself when somebody says not-so-nice shit to me. And they told me to ignore motherfuckers when they aren't worth my time.

    Online you can't physically fight people but you can hit the god damn block or ignore button. The real world is no different than online. If you see content you don't like you don't have to look at it. In the real world people can sit in a room and have a conversation about you talking shit. You wont know about it unless you walk in on the conversation. Than you know who's an asshole and who not to associate with. Online if you see shit posted about you, block the person and the content is gone for you. Report it for harassment and its gone. You know who is immature and assholes and not your friend. If anybody wants to read it and bring it back to your attention to make fun about you it doesn't really matter because in the real world people will talk shit on you, your friends know all the embarrassing shit about you, other people you don't know its a guarantee they have heard about you in some way shape or form negatively or not.

    People are so fucking butthurt these days over "words hurt" If words hurt you than grow up and quit worrying what people think about you. If you are a ghetto drama queen you'll entertain those words and start a fight over it (probably through the internet like a trashy person) or you'll be the mature person you are and not give two shit if somebody wants to post crap about you and ignore it.


    Your daughter being on that stupid KIK website is the root cause of people being able to bully her. You can contact them and tell them your under age daughter is using their website. They have it very clear there is a age restriction to be on that website. People will have their attention taken to something else when they realize them talking about your daughter on there is going nowhere. Like I said you have the power to censor what your kid does online. It's technically her fault for the continued bullying online BECAUSE SHE IS LETTING IT HAPPEN BY GOING TO WHERE ITS HAPPENING. Like jesus A crist. If I was still that age and went somewhere where I KNOW there is somebody or a group of people sitting around and will mock me or instigate a fight I would just avoid it if I wanted to be the better person. That or I would pump myself up and go in charging busting heads and bloodying lips. Both choices work equally. The ass kicking route would probably gain me some respect though.
  3. Once.up.on.a.time
    They have groups to bring down people?? I don't go on Facebook. Much. I just have my best real life friends spread all over the world :( xx
  4. detoxin momma
    there should be no "groups" allowed,anywhere,that are aimed at bringing down a certain individual!!!!!!!!!!!
  5. detoxin momma
    talking about precognition the other day....this months issue of parents magazine has a whole spread on this topic.so im gonna share some of the statistics i read in this article called,
    "parenting in a fakebook world"

    67% of moms think most parents arent honest about the realities of parenting on social media.

    in a survey of 2000 people,79% believe other parents overshare,yet only 32% believe they over share themselves.hmmmm

    26% of kids under age 13 have a youtube account.

    24% of moms worry what they post may come back to haunt their kids as teens and adults.

    32% of parents have deleted a post they feared was over sharing about their kids.

    in a survey of 2000 people,heres the percentages of what moms believed to be oversharing:
    video of child going potty:86%
    picture of child on potty seat:62%
    picture of report card:37%
    picture of child receiving expensive gift:23%
    picture of a lavish vacation:11%
    picture of child in underwear:65%
    video of tantrum:49%
    picture of tantrum:31%

    these are things parents in the survey considered to be "TMI" too much info.

    the obsession with you tube by the youngsters is believed to be a craving for fame.

    this article has images of kids tugging on moms arm as she tries to get the perfect snapshot of some dinner theyve just made.

    and its believed that majority of parents are only out to boost their own image.creating a look of fantasy,not reality.

    quote from this article:
    "while experts say its too early to tell what the long term repercussions of all this sharing will be,they agree it cant be healthy for kids-not simply because of what their parents are posting,but mainly because what a "time suck" all that posting and scrolling takes up.
    when it becomes worrisome is when parents are pulling away from family life,lost in their smartphones and their screens,leaving their children feeling neglected and lonely"
    says catherine steiner-adair,Ed.D

    i couldnt agree more with what i read in this article.and its nice to see that society recognizes the potential for long term negative effects on the kids to.

    so,bottom line.put down the phone,and go read a book to your kid!
    time flies.once these years are gone,they're gone.we dont get to do them over....
  6. detoxin momma
    GC i feel the same way...if we were "friends" we would've stayed in contact over the years.
    dont get me wrong,i can see FB having some value.
    like if you have family spaced out across the world.

    but the kids starting at it so young is a very risky situation.

    my husband had the nerve to say my DF use is no different than social media.

    sure it is.
    its all anonymous.ive never seen anyone from my state on here.and only a handful of people know my actual name.

    totally different.

    plus,like we could log on facebook and ask for tips on witdrawal.or give advice on how to quit certain drugs..
    drugs forum is real:thumbsup:....all the other shit is just about drama and showing off what you did this weekend:thumbsdown:
  7. Ghetto_Chem
    Liked this alot. I completely agree with everything here and I feel social media does more harm than good, most of it at least. DF is different because it has a huge harm reduction aspect to it, and information sharing.

    I myself don't participate in it either and people just can't seem to understand. It's not that I'm not social, but I just dislike how people act over it. I even remember in high school some girls making me one for one reason or another, which I deleted after awhile hah.

    About 2 or so years ago I decided to make one after breaking up with my long time girlfriend, just so I could actually have people find me easier (women cough cough) which was nice for that, and also for knowing about local/underground electronic music events. But I COULD NOT stand how people acted on there, people constantly being so cocky and shit talking for what reason I couldn't tell you.. That's the part that bothered me the most, there was never any reason for it except to be better than somebody else or start drama.

    Facebook seemed like it was all about likes, so people would just post whatever would get them those likes. I find it disgusting that we as humans are so shallow, and only took me about 6 months to delete that account.

    If somebody wants to talk to me, they know my number.

    If/when I ever have me some kids, I'll probably do the same. It makes me so sad when I drive past a car where the kid is sitting in the passenger seat, and they are never talking to their parent, you always see them staring at their phone in silence. I grew up right before the time of all this, back when I was kid thankfully all there was was AIM which isn't as easy, and also its a one on one conversation. Something about the conversations on FB being so public that makes it a messed up thing.

    One more thing before I end this rant, is how people air all their drama on these sites. Like why??? Don't people get embarrassed by that shit? I know I'd have a hard time going out in public if I broke down over a break up, or call somebody out, over facebook. I've always been the kind of guy, if you want to talk shit, lets do it face to face so I can actually "fix" the situation... It's just this growing problem of people who don't get called out on their bullshit so they get cockier and cockier, when back before all this if you talked shit you better be able to back it up physically.

    Good blog momma, hope others follow suit. Now fuck you all, you all suck, nah nah nah you can't touch me :crazy:crazy... *smack* &(. Nevermind..

    -GC
  8. detoxin momma
    thanks cren.this is something i am very passionate about.because its not going away.this is real life stuff.

    its like fighting a losing battle,but we still have to try.

    and,in the event that your child/niece/nephew is the aggressor,preach to them why its no joke.punish them.do your best to make sure it doesnt happen again.
  9. cren
    I really like what you have said. Zero tollerance for bullying. It shouldnt be looked on as something that kids need to sort out for themselves.