You know, I have been fighting this meth addiction for so long, I didn't even realize that I have actually improved my use, by using it as I need and not using it looking for a 'high'.
Someone in chat (Thank you, B) helped me see that I have gone from a gram a day habit when I joined Drugs-Forum last March, to my current amount of .2 of a gram daily.
Back then, I was re-dosing (smoking) throughout the day, and now, I have only the smoke in the morning and no more till the following day.
So I HAVE improved, but it is almost as if I didn't even notice. I am so used to expecting 100% perfection from myself that I couldn't see the 'little steps', blind to my accomplishments till now. I have decreased my use by about 80% (is that correct? I am so bad at math).
I am not surprised at myself for not realizing I had some positive result, as I have seldom accepted anything less than perfection from me.
My focus was on quitting completely, even if that wasn't what I needed. Anything less than complete abstinence, meant 'failure' to me. I've found out though, that I feel much happier since realizing I can give myself some credit for my achievement.
Dear Drugs-Forum readers: We are a small non-profit that runs one of the most read drug information & addiction help websites in the world. We serve over 4 million readers per month, and have costs like all popular websites: servers, hosting, licenses and software. To protect our independence we do not run ads. We take no government funds. We run on donations which average $25. If everyone reading this would donate $5 then this fund raiser would be done in an hour. If Drugs-Forum is useful to you, take one minute to keep it online another year by donating whatever you can today. Donations are currently not sufficient to pay our bills and keep the site up. Your help is most welcome. Thank you.
My Positive Progress