You know, I have been fighting this meth addiction for so long, I didn't even realize that I have actually improved my use, by using it as I need and not using it looking for a 'high'.
Someone in chat (Thank you, B) helped me see that I have gone from a gram a day habit when I joined Drugs-Forum last March, to my current amount of .2 of a gram daily.
Back then, I was re-dosing (smoking) throughout the day, and now, I have only the smoke in the morning and no more till the following day.
So I HAVE improved, but it is almost as if I didn't even notice. I am so used to expecting 100% perfection from myself that I couldn't see the 'little steps', blind to my accomplishments till now. I have decreased my use by about 80% (is that correct? I am so bad at math).
I am not surprised at myself for not realizing I had some positive result, as I have seldom accepted anything less than perfection from me.
My focus was on quitting completely, even if that wasn't what I needed. Anything less than complete abstinence, meant 'failure' to me. I've found out though, that I feel much happier since realizing I can give myself some credit for my achievement.