It's not about hitting the floor, it's about getting up again. Which I couldn't quite. Not the first time, but the worst time...
Fuck me cross-eyed, pushed over by my precious. Punching out; totally lost her. No recall of the poke and skoosh, lush swoop and heavy droop. Wings clipped, strings cut, lights out. Then it all slid off and clattered on a hard hotel floor. Nobody heard the tree fall in the forest.
This is how we die. Check all the boxes for an almost-perfect OD situ. Using alone, occasionally (tolerance down.) A question mark over quality but greedy as always. Honestly: I thought this might happen. Given I'd made a big fuss over quality last time, might've known my dealer would have felt shamed into serving un-cut, un-said. Since he makes a big deal of I'm his favourite lab-rat.
Hey dear Dealer! Getting random so you properly hear. Making my point, your lies ain't killing shit. Get with this rage or we cutting mad rain. Blazing paper zeroes and it's all good. So bring up drums and bury a fool. Count all the daisies or wrap up in Kev. Gunsights up your skirt, bitch! Can yank out my semi and you don't wanna know. [Not that he'll read this, or read anything...idiot.]
Another crazy rainbow. But wait: you haven't even got to the fucked-up bit.
Man's nephew handed off a gee and left me to relieve myself of me. Gonna DO this. Not that I miscalculated, as such (see above.) I thought twice then doubled up anyway. Guess I'm greedy but at this stage, I really don't have the veins to play with. Schwag may be trampled like before and I need results in a one-er. Fuck it.
Such a bad attitude. No wonder things got messy. By the time I was woken I'd been lying too still for 5 hours. The blood supply got slowed to my legs and left them pretty useless. My left especially was completely frozen and numb, knee-down. I kept falling over, just didn't get how bad is this. Only barely recollect the look on the faces of the dealer and his guys (you can imagine.) But they took care of me, even sold me more. And I did more, and did more bad. Like pushed my face into a hot plate of food; almost cooked out my right eye. I sort of recall my face in the mirror as I washed off the rice and sauce. Mercifully I couldn't really feel it then. That came next day...and every day since.
Healing quite well, no complaints. Two weeks later, only my left foot is still frozen. I just limp a bit. My face is barely marked and the zapped nerves are slowly healing. Quite the miracle. People have been somewhat confused and concerned. Like "what happened?" Don't like lying so I just say I fell over. Of course I got my 'real peoples' scattered about, other junkies I could share this story with. LOL at my wonky walking and chalk up another bullet ducked. Oh yeah, this has happened before. Years ago I passed out on a board, smoking Triang#4. Same thing: woke up, got up, fell down. Leg gone for weeks... It had only just got better when I woke up on the floor of another hotel, other leg up on the bed, frozen. Crippled again.
Anyway...I haven't laid the truth on anyone yet. Maybe it's not funny anymore. Or even worth it. Maybe it never was. This is what I have to realize, like for realzz. Like STOP