Sometimes I'm in so much pain, I give myself a concussion without realizing it.
I realize that sentence didn't make sense, but it's true, as is the rest of the shit I'm writing that doesn't make sense. (I can fill the holes into that sentence to make it clearer though. When I'm in so much pain that my rational mind shuts down, whatever comes in its place, thinks it's a GREAT idea to slam my head into whatever is closest. I assume it's in an attempt to transfer pain.)
I've been to pain clinics, and after doing all the pills that don't work and the patches and shit, leaving only painkillers, they rejected me for one reason or another. Assuming they were telling me the truth, here's the reasons.
1. I'm too young. (I'm 29.)
2. I'm on too many benzodiazepines. (My explaining I've been on pain medicine before and never had a problem, that I don't take them together, didn't help.)
3. I have anxiety and depression, and it was his "policy" not to give painkillers to people "like that."
4. Because I have PTSD, if he treated the pain in one place, it would just reappear somewhere else. (This guy didn't even bother looking at my chart as to why I was there, never offered even the staples they try before the heavy drugs.)
I need to move. The South sucks in this capacity. Thank (insert what/whom ever you believe in here) for kratom.