Just a short entry for consistency:
Predictably, a very enjoyable binge over the weekend, but I'm so god damn sick and tired of Phenibut, ironically.
Last night resumed the taper and laid out a new plan. Here's a short summary, all dosed in the evening:
And then likely a bit slower towards the end. I'll kind of gauge how much we need at the tail end by symptoms, but likely won't drop off until reaching 250mg. Benzos as needed during the whole taper. I know it's a somewhat fast taper, but I'm so ready to be off this stuff it's crazy. And I feel okay going a bit fast as I will have access to a relatively large amount of benzos during the whole thing.
No discomfort so far. Had 2g last night and slept okay, but that was the day after my little binge, so I can't make any reliable conclusions about how I'll feel later form that dose. Took another 2g tonight at 8 and didn't feel it at all, which is a good sign that the dose is right. Will report back tomorrow on how I'm feeling.
I know this is going to be so hard, as I have a problem with anxiety as it is, and this is going to cause nothing but anxiety. But I realize my phenibut use and binging is having some really detrimental effects on my life and holding me back, and I have to get it back on track.
I have to. I will.
Wish me luck, if anyone is keeping up with this. I won't actually have access to any benzos until a bit later in the week, so if I drop to 1.5 and have too much trouble, I may hold off on it and go back up to 2 until I get them. But before doing that, I'm really going to try just soldiering through it.
Man, I will never get myself into this mess again!