This is just a blog post to vent about an issue I've been facing. The court is not pleased with my substitution of marijuana for diazepam, and this is my situation.
Little bit of back-story. I'm on probation for selling some fake shit to an undercover (I was a heroin-addicted juvenile at the time) and was ultimately given one year of Deffered Entry of Judegement, or DEJ - a plea deal generally decided between the prosecution and my shitty defense attorney (at the time). It's generally for first-time offenders, who are underage and otherwise don't really pose a risk to society, many of them have felony convictions hanging over them (as do I) - part of the plea deal was me for me to plead guilty to possession of heroin (personal quantity but still a felony I do not wish to tarnish my otherwise clean record in the future) - Let it be known, the crime was committed when I was 17 and by the time proceedings were finished and the last court date was set, we went for DEJ and I was already 18 at the time (LOL!). This works against me though. I was given a juvenile probation officer with firm, firm rules of a formal probationer.
The first 4 or 5 months were tough. No community service, relapsing, showing positive for dope on my tests, but the officer liked me. I like him too. He's a great guy, I totally respect him and he respects me. But recently, about 3 months ago, I got my MMJ license (as I said I was 18) to replace the cocktail of prescription medications I was on to manage my anxiety and depression. I was then drug tested 2 times before going to court for my quarterly check-in (9mo mark of my probation). We were in the courtroom for about 3 minutes. She treated me like a minor, and my new attorney that my family loved had not even a chance to speak beyond introducing me! My parents had no word either, though they had so much to say as well. It was very apparent the judge (female) was PISSED that I didn't wait 2 months and nicely ask her permission (she would have thrown the book at me anyways, she NEVER lets "juveniles" use marijuana medicinally because most of the cases she deals with has it involved, and sees it as a substance that doesn't help anybody - ESPECIALLY a former junkie...yeah, like Valium helps me so much better..) :yes-no:
Anyways, she said "well when you first appeared in court you promised under oath to abstain from using any illegal substances" (hey, Diazepam, Dextroamphetamine, and Buprenorphine are fucking illegal without a prescription too) - completely disregarding the "doctor's" recommendation, my fucking therapist who I see twice a week noting a remarkable increase in my mood, attitude towards life, overall anxiety), my parents who are noted in the probation officer's report as being just as happy with it, and last but not least; my probation officer. He didn't write in his report that I need to stop smoking, he took a neutral stance; all he noted was what I said, what my parents said when he called, and what my therapist said. All positive stuff, and overall the report was great except for only completing half of my community service at the time. She warned me that the next 3 drug tests better be good or there may be issues getting off of probation when I turn 19, 10 days after. A week after that I plan to go to university, having taken the past gap year to get over probation.
I'm seriously so much better off than I was before but I digress. I failed the first of 3 tests as expected (smoked up until it knowing my PO expected a failed result, which indeed it was) - now I'm going in for #2. I've abstained from smoking WAX for 5 days (and buds obviously, but I smoke concentrates when necessary) - I would say when I did smoke, I would smoke about 2 dabs of potent wax a day. I'm 5'10, skinny, average build I suppose, fast metabolism (but I'm totally blocked up because of the subs LOL!), and not very physically active. Regardless, I've been taking creatine capsules for 5 days, drinking more water than usual (I know this isn't necessary until the day of the test), cranberry juice (27% not from concentrate), today I am loading up on water and cranberry juice, vitamin B6 and B12, and some more creatine. I've already purged my morning bladder and am downing as much water as I can.
I'm not asking for support. I'm not asking anything. I just want to be able to look back at this some day and say "Look how fucking far I've come"
Probationary drug testing. Again! Just venting...