Reflections of a Modern Opium Smoker

By la fee brune · Jan 29, 2015 · ·
  1. la fee brune
    I should have known to expect it, this loneliness. The absolute solitude of the contemporary opium smoker. In fact, I did expect it, but in a remote, detached sense which in no way resembles the actual experience of smoking alone. In general, I tend to underestimate the importance of my own emotions, and the process by which I have begun smoking opium has been no different. When I started writing last year, I was convinced that the biggest hurdle that I would face was the lack of opium itself. Of course, I learned that there is still opium. It is opium, after all, a timeless, ubiquitous drug which has existed since time immemorial. It is everywhere, I just had to learn where to look for it.

    I knew the emotional damage that practicing this craft alone would inflict on me, if only in a theoretical sense; yet I also knew I had no choice. I still don’t. For me, the attraction to opium smoking is inevitable, a fact of life just like my skin or hair color. Inveterate smokers of one, two hundred years ago would likely balk at the barbarity of being forced to smoke alone, yet their modern counterpart has no choice. To undertake such an endeavor in a contemporary setting requires a certain insane determination, one that not many people possess. There are very few who share my weakness for the visceral appeal of the opium pipe.

    My vice is one meant to be shared, yet it will never be so. There is no one. For me, at least. I’ve only just begun to allow myself to dream, and in fact I must dream in order to write, yet even the air around me is suffused with the impossibility of my own hopes. How, then, do I reconcile myself to the fact that my deepest desire-to share this ritual with someone else-is destined to remain unfulfilled? By what process does a person make peace with the death of her dreams?

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    Author Bio

    la fee brune
    Opium fiend, bon vivant, and all-around pain in the ass.

    Annoying others since 1982.


  1. bluenarrative
    Why do you anticipate a solitary journey into the warm realms of opium? Here on DF, you have established several good relationships with good and intelligent people. Surely, there must be one or two people on here that who would help you to pursue some aspects of your dreams-- no?

    The Opium Den has-- for reasons that I do not fully understand-- managed to become a rather lively and vibrant gathering place for true connoisseurs of opium. I like some of the more prominent members a lot! Twenty-One and Devilgoose seem to be a cut above your routine opiate users on DF. And there are a few others who chime in occasionally with incisive comments and germane experiences. More than this, I would venture to say that there are fewer assholes in the Opium Den than one will find in any of the other groups.

    I have never been interested in meeting anybody from DF in real life. Until I joined the Opium Den. And now I find myself idly speculating about what it might be like to have a meet-up with a few of the core members!

    Among this small coterie of connoisseurs, we have a nice range of personalities, I think. You and I both naturally gravitate towards highly intelligent people. And within our inner circle of Opium Den members, the level of intelligence is VERY HIGH--to say nothing about how imaginative and creative these people are!

    As a general rule, I am a very good judge of personality and character-- this is a screenwriter's stock in trade. I keep looking for signs of trouble or some significant imbalance among the people in this inner circle, but I have yet to discern any signs of trouble among them. And I guess that this fact makes the idea of a meet-up seem much more viable than would be the case otherwise.

    More than just intelligent, imaginative, and basically sane, those of us who are "regulars" in the Opium Den are demonstrably mature and remarkably realistic. Nobody, as far as I can tell, has delusions or boundary issues. We are all wonderfully frank and honest. We all have a healthy sense of humor. And it is really for me to imagine things getting awkward or sticky, were some of us to meet in real life.

    You are most assuredly not alone, Perrito. You have created a wonderful haven for poppy lovers with your group! Now you should USE the group to pursue each and every one of your opium-related dreams, whatever they may be.

    Be realistic: demand the impossible! Be realistic: pursue all dreams that seem unrealistic!

    Tell me more about what you want out of your opium experiences-- I simply love to share in your dreams and desires. I think that I understand you a lot more than you might imagine. And I want to totally affirm the unique gift that you have been to me!

    Why not pursue your dreams? Why not enter the company of mythological folk heros, such as Cocteau or Rimbaud? Why not make music with those who understand your jazz? Why not do a slow dance with those who move to the rhythms of this mysterious plant? Why not journey with those who are going in the same general direction as you?

    There is no need for you to walk alone. There are not a lot of people who are on a par with you-- mediocrity is the lot of most people-- but there are some. You have met a few through your group. Now, you should summon forth the best of these, so that you can be who you really are! You are not alone, Perrito.

    You already know that I am yours!
  2. Twenty-One
    Perhaps you could look to other solo opium smokers for inspiration. If I remember right, Cocteau thought opium was best used alone (though I'll have to double-check). If it was him, though, why did he think that? May be something worth looking into and philosophizing about.

    I do understand the need for companionship, though, and to me it sounds like it's true companionship at large that you're lacking. I hope the conversations we've had about it help a little.
  3. Firemonkey
    Perro! You are not alone. My opium use is also a solo activity primarily by personal choice. I think it is absolutely acceptable to indulge alone - perhaps it says something about me or my personality type but I feel that I enjoy it more when I am alone, without the distraction of others. I get rather philosophical (in my own head) and enjoy the contemplation of what has come to mind whilst indulging. Both "bluenarrative" and "Twenty-One" have raised points I couldn't possibly disagree with. Clearly, they both have good heads on their shoulders! I think you have one hell of a good book (or two!) in you.
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