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  1. MisMonroe
    Isn't it ironic how quickly a bad decision that seemed so good can escalate into much, much more than you anticipated?
    Happily married for 2 years, little girl meets a man. Never once unfaithful, not a person had ever caught her interest like her husband did. This man, though, was an addiction of a new form. Of the very worst kind. Why? He was attractive, yes, but there had been many that were, yet failed miserably to catch her interest. He was unstable as a person can be, the war in Iraq, four tours in the early years, had left his thoughts, actions, and feelings mangled.
    She was infatuated. The thought of him left her anxious for his next hug, kiss, touch.
    He was yet to let go of his ex, though, despite the numerous infidelities.
    Little girl must have thought she was something special, that she could use her looks to steal his heart away.
    The harder she tried, the slower he fell. The promises he made her more than likely echoing the same made to his ex.
    Little girl began to find that the thought of him left her in tears. Simply because she had neglected the person that actually did truly care about her, to chase a haze of smoke and lies.
    When does it end?
    This dangerous attraction was destine for failure, the screaming, fighting, crying, sex, lies, come downs, kisses of little fulfillment, were either going to crash and burn or just explode.
    She realized this yesterday, when she found herself, alone in the bed they had just spent hours smoking, licking, sucking, fucking on. Anxiety attacks were not very common for her, but this one was gripping. She was convinced that nothing would make her happy any longer, her one infatuation easily falling short of making her happy. What is the point of living if unhappiness is around every corner?
    Little girl began to cry, hyperventilate, shake, she was falling apart. When this man walked in, he asked if she had slept yet, of course she hadn't. Groaning, he asked her if she would go get him a pack of cigs.
    Little girl was in disbelief. She sat there, moments away from suicide and he had shown his true colors.
    Little girl quickly dressed and left, attempting to make it 15 miles away to her relatives home.
    During this time her husband was frantically calling, desperate to make sure that little girl was alright, to let her know that he loved her so.
    Heartless whore, little girl.
    Barely making it 4 miles, little girl had to stop, hyperventilating had left her feeling as if she was going to be out at any moment.
    Little girls husband kept her on the phone until deciding that a parent must pick up little girl, for her safety.
    He made the calls and called little girl back.
    The object of little girls desire had simply sent rude text about leaving him when he needed her, and that she had let him pick when she should have stopped him.
    How dumb could little girl get?
    Mixes of prescription drugs and meth had left little girl with a dangerous attraction to a heartless man, but all along she had everything she'd ever need, just waiting for her.
    Little girl has realized the stupidity of this decision to begin a relationship with this man, lets just hope that she sticks to her guns when she asks for it all to be just a small memory.

Comments

  1. kailey_elise
    Oh, darlin', I can relate, empathize & sympathize faaaaar more than I'd like to (although I just neglected myself; I don't have another partner right now).

    I don't know what to tell you. But I understand and am there with you, sadly.
  2. Megan288
    This is beautifully written! I know these feelings really well. You are lucky to have your husband. He's a good man. This other one will be trouble for you. Ignore him before he hurts you more. The more you ignore, the more he will chase after you. Be strong and distract yourself! I'll pm you all kinds of things to do to take your mind off of this trouble!
  3. FluffyPinkElephant
    oh my sweet sweet girl...how I have felt your pain. I want to squeeze you and tell you everything will be okay in the long run...but the future is sooooo.....sooooooooo UGH who fucking knows what the hell the future holds? right?

    I want to offer to you, my ear and my shoulder. You are going to have a lot to process lovely one...would love to talk more at length when and if you would like...I'm only a PM away :)
  4. MisMonroe
    Day 2 of no contact, other than a spat in the morning.
    I'm sure he'll start calling again on Thursday, just got to be strong and resist his invitations.
    That's always the hardest part..
  5. MisMonroe
    Thank you for the sympathy, by the way! I wish I could say it was only I that I neglected. It was my family and friends, though.
  6. MisMonroe
    Thank you, I've always been the writer type :)
    Oh yes, my husband is the most amazing man to ever be in my life! I suppose the excitement of attention from someone I actually wanted it from, the xanax and ice combination, and then the lovey dovey touches after were enough to think I needed to keep this other man in my life.

    The abuse was ridiculous, though, constantly calling me crazy because his mixed signals, telling me not to get jealous, but needing to know my who/what/where/and when's all the time.
    Telling me I was childish because I demanded to be the only one he was with, when he told me he would not stop sleeping with his ex until she went to prison.
    Asking me if I felt dumb or ignorant whenever I made a comment he didn't like.
    The list goes on.

    What attraction is worth all that? I can't think of any..

    I'll check me email, thank you!
  7. MisMonroe
    Thank you so much, this really comforted me.
    The future is a mystery, and I hate surprises more than anything, but I just hope that the promise to quit him is kept by myself.
    It's a classic tale of the bad guy being the girls obsession, while the nice one sit behind and waits for her to realize her mistake.

    Thank you so much, I might need the support next time I hear from him, an addiction is always hard to quit
  8. no eff eks
    Everyone makes mistakes, sometimes huge mistakes. The one thing you can't do is allow yourself to be consumed by a mistake. Even if life isn't what you'd hoped, it is still what you make it. You obviously found life with/as an addict unfulfilling, so figure out what you want and go for it. You might fail, but that's nothing you haven't had to deal with countless times in the past. This is your opportunity to right the direction of your life's course, to do that you have to love/believe in yourself. I don't know you, but I can tell from your blog entry that your mind is worth saving. Don't give up!
  9. Lrs721
    wow two times in a row i had a very personal post written to you and my browser lost it when i hit delete to correct a typo... im taking that as a sign that maybe im not ready to post nad its best left over PM or WWF.
    if you are interested just let me know, i think i may have been in a VERY similar situation a couple years ago and would love to let my experience help you out- because (im sure you know) it just about killed me, and although i am in a much better place and that relationship probably needed to happen in order to get me here, i think after all that misery, i am owed the chance to possibly help someone to avoid even a little part of that.
  10. MisMonroe
    Something about this comment really made me think. I haven't been happy, but is it because I'm making my life miserable, doing the things I do, talking to the people I talk to, acting the way I act.
    Funny, I sat on my sisters bed, 3 in the morning. She had decided that the only way to make any money was to push work. She's been robbed so many times, I'm surprised she still has anything. If it wasn't stolen, she has pawned it.
    Realizing that she couldn't buy cupcakes for my nieces birthday today, she broke down, wondering why people did this to her, screwed her over.
    I'm pretty sure my efforts to make her realize that allowing these people, half strangers, in her home, trusting them, was what she was doing to herself, were useless, but combined with your statement, they're enough to really make me understand what I told her.
    Thank you for taking the time, even the strong still need encouragement.
  11. MisMonroe
    I definitely want to hear it, my saga is still ongoing, I'm wondering if it will ever end. I give up on this person, decide I don't deserve to be treated the way I am, yet can't help myself when he comes calling.
    I've spent the last week too high to realize, or maybe just figure out, if it's really something I feel inside, or just the dope calling his name.
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