Kids around the country are getting high on the internet, thanks to MP3s that induce a state of ecstasy. And it could be a gateway drug leading teens to real-world narcotics.
At least, that’s what Oklahoma News 9 is reporting about a phenomenon called “i-dosing,” which involves finding an online dealer who can hook you up with "digital drugs" that get you high through your headphones.
And officials are taking it seriously.
"Kids are going to flock to these sites just to see what it is about and it can lead them to other places," Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics and Dangerous Drugs spokesman Mark Woodward told News 9.
I-dosing involves donning headphones and listening to "music" — largely a droning noise — which the sites peddling the sounds promise will get you high. Teens are listening to such tracks as "Gates of Hades," which is available on YouTube gratis (yes, the first one is always free).
Those who want to get addicted to the “drugs” can purchase tracks that will purportedly bring about the same effects of marijuana, cocaine, opium and peyote. While street drugs rarely come with instruction manuals, potential digital drug users are advised to buy a 40-page guide so that they learn how to properly get high on MP3s.
Oklahoma’s Mustang Public School district isn’t taking the threat lightly, and sent out a letter to parents warning them of the new craze. The educators have gone so far as to ban iPods at school, in hopes of preventing honor students from becoming cyber-drug fiends, News 9 reports.
Here’s a video of one wholesome kid getting high — startlingly so — on an MP3:
We at Threat Level are stunned and have hundreds of questions.
Will future presidential candidates defend their i-dosing past by saying, "But I had it on mute"? Are we supposed to declare a war on cyberdrugs or a cyberwar on cyberdrugs? How will police know if a teen is with headphones on is i-dosing or just listening to Justin Bieber? Is the iPod the bong of the future? What would happen if some ne’er-do-well took over the console of the Super Bowl and dosed the entire country? What if kids smoked dried banana peels and listened to these trippy tunes at the same time — could they OD? What happens if someone sells a tainted MP3?
Perhaps most importantly, what will happen if the kids move onto harder stuff like Steve Reich, Philip Glass or even Janet Cardiff’s installation, "The Killing Machine"?
Here’s a sample of the heavy stuff that some light experimentation with drug drone music could lead to. (Note: The following video is only for informational purposes and should only be viewed by responsible adults.)
Correction: This post placed the Mustang school district in Kansas, when it’s actually in Oklahoma. Kansas, the band, however might not be safe for teens, and could be a gateway band to harder, more dangerous psychedelic fare like Pink Floyd.